As Jon Stewart has mentioned a time or 20, the United Nations does nothing so well as disrupt traffic patterns in New York, thus making his daily commute longer and less predictable. It’s only fair that the international discussion forum also provide some material for "The Daily Show," and that’s what he was hoping for when Iran and its nuclear ambition took the stage Thursday.
Stewart, and the rest of the world, was expecting fireworks. After all, it’s been in the news for weeks, and who knows what those wacky world leaders will do when the cameras are on and the translators are hard at work. First came the threatening words of President Obama:
"Here it comes people! President Obama’s gonna be like 'It’s 0800. Bombing starts in an hour'," Stewart said.
Alas, for Stewart, that was not the case. "America wants to solve this through diplomacy. It’s time to heed the words of Gandhi. Intolerance is itself a form of violence, an obstacle to the growth of a true democratic spirit," President Obama said.
Not exactly "my way of the highway" there. But not to worry. We could surely expect more from Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
"I do not believe that Muslims, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists and others have any problems among themselves or have any problems against each other. They get along together comfortably," Ahmadinejad said.
OK. Everyone loves peaceful words, but that’s a bit of a stretch. Unless, as Stewart said, “If by comfortably, you mean ‘with near-constant bloodshed.’” But no worries … Ahmadinejad was about to attack the host nation with all of the material in his arsenal.
"Are we to believe that those who would spend hundreds of millions of dollars on election campaigns have the interest of others in their hearts?" the Iranian President asked.
There you go. Forget about nuclear weapons. Ahmadinejad is all about campaign finance reform.
But there was one leader who wanted to talk Iranian nukes: Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. His speech came with its own prop, a cartoon-style drawing of a bomb with a red line conveniently added.
"What’s with the Wile E. Coyote Nuclear Bomb?" Stewart asked. "You’re going to pretend you don’t know what a nuclear bomb looks like? You’re Israel. Run downstairs and look in the basement."
It’s not over yet
Steven Colbert stuck to domestic issues. After he was finished promoting his upcoming book, he had Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney’s back in expressing his lack of concern about the poll numbers. After all, there’s still 40 days until Election Day.
"A lot can happen in 40 days. Obama could make a gaffe. Mitt could win the debates. God could send a flood that destroys all mankind," Colbert noted.
And he liked that most polls have Romney doing better among engaged voters. "He’s much closer among the extremely interested. … and he’s up two points if you count only voters who are psychotically engaged."
So there you go. Between the hyper-engaged and the prospect of divine intervention, Colbert things Romney has nothing to worry about.