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Jon Stewart offers directions to 'Patriot Street'; Stephen Colbert creates the PITY party

Comedy Central

Jon Stewart on "The Daily Show."

It was the first “Daily Show” for Jon Stewart since Saturday’s debate with Bill O’Reilly. If you didn’t get to see it, you’re not alone. Apparently the World Wide Web  may be big enough for the both of them, but not big enough to accommodate all of their fans and their download requests.

"I apologize for that. Turns out that the Internet is a series of tubes, and if you stuff too much in a series of tubes, it won’t work,” Stewart said.

But it was the other debate that continued to occupy the focus of the show. Mitt Romney is generally considered to have won his showdown with President Barack Obama, but one of the soundbites that everyone is talking about is his plan to cut funding for public broadcasting -- including Big Bird and “Sesame Street.”

“So pack your mugs and your Four Tenor DVDs and your tote bags and ride the high culture train back to cancel town,” Stewart said.

The usual suspects approved. Lou Dobbs was fired up about cutting $8 million from public broadcasting, despite his earlier criticisms that Obama’s desire to end $4 billion in oil subsidies was such a small amount that it wasn’t worth worrying about. In fairness, $4 billion might just be Dobbs’ hair care budget.

It was the fine folks at Fox News, who Stewart refers to with a profanity that got his 8-year-old in trouble for repeating it, who are most thrilled at the prospect of America’s youth not being brainwashed by liberal hacks like Grover and Big Bird.

“So Fox News is upset that empty-headed puppets are trying to brainwash and indoctrinate Americans. Well perhaps you could sue them,” Stewart said. “The charge could be copyright infringement.”

Later, he and his correspondents suggested a new name and slogan: Patriot Street. “Can you tell me how to get? How to get to Patriot Street?! With fiscal responsibility, that’s how!”

Stewart also gave some time to the Republican allegations that the recent positive jobs report was the result of cooking the books by the Obama administration.

But Stephen Colbert on the “Colbert Report” went farther and provided the proof.

"Think of it. Last month 114,000 unemployed moochers, the President’s natural allies, suddenly yank their government teat out of their mouth and get off the couch for 40 hours a week. Why? I say follow the money,” Colbert said. “I found out that right around when those people got those jobs? They started getting paid. And just where did that money come from? Right out of the pockets of job creators!”

For those of a similar mind, or the folks the “New Yorker” cited as feeling persecuted for their wealth, Colbert has a new political group, Protecting Industry Titans & Yachtsmen (or the PITY Party).

“Persecuted rich, join the PITY party. Because Obama might be reelected. And if he’s willing to say that he wants to go after Wall Street in his first term, there’s a chance he might actually do something in his second.”

Colbert did break character for a moment interviewing Mark Kelly. Kelly is the author of the children’s book “'Mousetronaut,” but most know him as the former space shuttle captain and husband of former Arizona congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords. Giffords, of course, was shot at an event in Tucson in January 2011, and recovered enough to make an appearance at the Democratic National Convention.


“As a guy who is an astronaut, who has flown the shuttle four times and had 39 combat missions, did you ever think you’d be the second-most heroic person in your marriage?” he asked.

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