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Stephen Colbert talks voter fraud: 'Republicans are just playing defense'

Comedy Central

Stephen Colbert.

With the election just a couple of weeks away, Stephen Colbert turned his attention to the potential of voter fraud. Sure, as he acknowledged, in-person voter fraud is extremely rare. But he remains worried nonetheless.

“I say we can’t be too careful here folks. Anyone voting who I don’t personally know ... kind of suspicious,” Colbert said.

That may be what prompted a Virginia man, hired by the state’s Republican Party, to allegedly trash eight voter registration forms. Predictably, this worried Colbert as well. “You destroyed voter registration forms, but only eight? What’s the matter? Was the paper stock too heavy?”

“It’s all part of the game,” he continued. “The Democrats try to register voters and bus them to polling stations and the Republicans are just playing defense. Because that’s what wins championships!”

Job destruction

Colbert also had some fun with the CEOs who are going to greater lengths to win votes for Mitt Romney, warning their employees that another four years of Obama likely mean more taxes that would force them to cut jobs. So, no pressure, people. Just vote the right way or get canned!

“If these CEOs or their companies have their taxes raised, you employees would lose your jobs,” Colbert said. “Which would be terrible because then you couldn’t work at that great place where your boss threatens you.”


It all feeds into the narrative from President Obama, that four years of a Romney Administration would allow cater to the rich and leave everyone else to suffer.

“Come on Mr. President. Everyone plays by the same set of rules,” Colbert says. “And at the end of the game the rich flip over the board and say ‘I win!’”

Barack-tose Intolerance

On “The Daily Show,” Jon Stewart reviewed how he became part of the news cycle on Thursday night, thanks to Obama’s calling the Benghazi attack “not optimal” while a guest on his show.  Stewart noted that some of the reaction came before the show even aired, like the response by Senator John McCain (who, as Stewart noted, is no stranger to committing to something without the proper vetting. Exhibit A: Sarah Palin).

To Stewart, that’s just an example of the “Barack-tose intolerance” from the right in general, and Fox News in particular, even though their fears of four years ago have not been realized.

“The economy is not yet socialized, Islamists burn effigies of Obama, the stock market doubled, Limbaugh and Hannity blathered on, gun rights actually expanded … and cars remain legal,” he said.

 

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