OPINION: Wouldn't it be great if the promise of a new year also meant a promise that some of pop culture's more odious trends could be left behind? Here are 12 I could happily leave in 2012.
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Blow us a kiss goodbye? Lindsay Lohan, left, a galloping PSY, center, and Brad Pitt mumbling for Chanel.
More than 2 billion people have "liked" the video for "Gangnam Style" on YouTube since it debuted there on July 15, and I can firmly assert that I am not among them. I can appreciate a good earworm; I've been caught humming "Call Me Maybe." But I see no up side to the irritant that is PSY. The dance moves are unflattering, the melody nonexistent. And then it gets stuck in your head. Please: no more.
I'll keep this brief. Lindsay, I want the best for you, I do. But in 2013 I'd like to not read a word about you. Please stay away from clubs. Call a cab. Pay for everything.
Bad celeb ads
I get it -- endorsements are easy money. Signing on to be the face of a product is little work for a whole lot of dough and if Chanel came knocking on my door, I'd take the gig -- this is the one thing Brad Pitt and I have in common. But I'd want the ad to be spoof proof. Not just to save ego, but because it's not good for the career when you're starring in a film and all the viewer can think of is your silly perfume ad.
The photo-sharing social network, Instagram, has been under scrutiny lately for its advertising policy, but the real scandal is the fact that it allows Rihanna to play along. Sadly, it's a job requirement to keep track of her feed -- how else would I know if she and Chris Brown were together again? How else would I know if she had a new tattoo, or if the skin on her upper thighs was blemish-free? Sharing is one thing, over-sharing another.
Deciphering greater meaning in celeb tattoos
If a celebrity gets a tattoo and doesn't take an Instagram picture of it, does the tattoo exist? Does it have MEANING? Ink up your skin all you want, kids, but let's not spend another moment wondering what its place is in the universe.
The wardrobe malfunction down south
If you're a celebrity and your stylist can't find an undergarment that works with your particular dress, you should probably get another stylist.
People are either pregnant or they are not. And until someone decides to make it known that their uterus is occupied, we, the public, just cannot know more. I'm fine leaving it at that. (And I never thought the day would come that I'd write this: Thank you, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. You did you part by sparing us from this ritual before the request even went out. Congrats on your baby-to-be.
Kimye, or any other lovers' contraction
The ill-fated romance between Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez kicked off the trend, and since" Bennifer" made it into the lexicon there appears to be some strange, unwritten obligation to give all celeb couples the same treatment. Here's the thing: Bennifer worked. It rolled off the tongue, it saved headline space. But Kimye, for the aforementioned Kim and Kanye? No.
Celebs 'quitting' twitter
And by quitting, I mean making a grand "I am not doing this any more" gesture and then rejoining. Miley Cyrus, Chris Brown, Alec Baldwin are all offenders. You're either in or out, folks. Commit.
Teen Mom tweets
Speaking of Twitter: Admittedly, I have a strange fascination with "Teen Mom" (especially "Teen Mom 2"). But their tweeting habits -- the fighting, the new baby news, the marriages, the obvious amount of time they're spending on the social network and not with their kids -- it's too much.
The television over-think
You guys, don't ruin shows you love by thinking too hard about everything (Yes, I'm talking about "Homeland" here). Remember, this television-watching stuff is supposed to be fun.
Madonna's concert stunts
Hopefully, the finale of Madonna's MDNA tour will put an end to her well-publicized concert stunts, but in case that's not her plan ... Please stop waving guns and dedicating stripteases to children shot by the Taliban. The stunts are so commonplace, it's hard to actually get mad about them, instead they're just really irritating and tired.
Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee was great comedy and a perfect use of the digital medium.
Alec Baldwin's "Here's the Thing" podcasts for WNYC are real gems -- if you've never listened to any, trust me when I encourage you to check out the subjects that have no initial appeal. You'll be pleasantly surprised.
Here's to more of that in 2013. Happy New Year!