Comedy Central

Next week's papal conclave will mark the beginning of the official process to elect a new pope, but according to "Daily Show" host Jon Stewart, there's no need to go through all those cardinal candidates.

Once Steward learned that any Catholic male could qualify for the position, he suggested his pick to replace Pope Benedict XVI.

"I already know a male catholic who's got an inside track on infallibility," he said while looking thoughtfully at a graphic of his Fox News foe Bill O'Reilly.

According to the host, there was just one hitch in his "popeful" plan. The job would mark a major move for "The O'Reilly Factor" host.

"Would O'Reilly accept a demotion?"

Zing!

Of course, Stewart knows his personal favorite doesn't stand a chance in what he calls "the race for the next pontiff." So he took a closer look at someone who's widely regarded as a much more likely candidate, Argentine Cardinal Leonardo Sandri

"Leonardo Sandri says he's infallible," a mock, smear ad began. "But just last week, he picked Bradley Cooper in his Oscar pool."

So who gets the top spot? Only time -- and the conclave -- will tell!

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Bill O'Reilly and Jon Stewart.

Basic cable frenemies Bill O’Reilly and Jon Stewart squared off Saturday night in a debate streamed online from George Washington University. Dubbed “The Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Auditorium,” the Fox News Channel and Comedy Central personalities tackled the issues -- and each other -- with a back and forth that was refreshingly rude compared to the staid politeness expected of presidential candidates.

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The debate included O'Reilly jokingly naming Clint Eastwood as the famous person he’d pick for U.S. President. Stewart responded by getting out of his chair and addressing its seat cushions. “Why don’t we ask him?” Stewart said, creating an “invisible Eastwood” in mockery of the actor’s Republican National Convention speech.

The debate was streamed online for $4.95, with half the proceeds going to charity. But the event, moderated by CNN and Fox veteran Ed Hill, proved too popular for its own good, as untold numbers of people were unable to stream it until halfway through the show. Complaints flooded into the Rumble 2012 Facebook page, which prompted organizers to post an apology, stating its servers were overloaded.

Below are 10 highlights from the O’Reilly vs. Stewart debate.

1. O’Reilly comes prepared -- with signs.

The O’Reilly Factor host is famous for the “Talking Points Memo” section of his TV show. Without the use of TV graphics to illustrate his points, O’Reilly came armed with a series of signs, including some that read: "Bush Is Gone" (to emphasize President George W. Bush can’t be blamed for our current problems); “Iran not frightened” (to argue President Obama’s foreign policy does not sufficiently keep Iran in line); “Drones Yes, Waterboards No” (to point out the irony of it being chic to condemn water boarding but not to be outraged over bombings.)

VIDEO: Jon Stewart's hilarious response to Presidential debate

2. Stewart calls O’Reilly Mayor of "B------- Mountain."

In a Daily Show episode last month, Stewart dubbed Fox News “B------- Mountain” for its response to Mitt Romney’s now infamous 47 percent hidden camera video. In the debate’s opening minutes, Stewart said he had come to plead with “the mayor of B------- Mountain” to talk some sense into his people (presumably Fox viewers and employees).

Shortly before, Stewart said his friend O’Reilly was “completely full of s---.”

3. Stewart helps O’Reilly make hip references.

After O’Reilly argued foreign aid is needed to “buy” friends in hot spots around the world, he said he didn’t care if “Gerry and the Pacemakers” attacked a U.S. Embassy, Egypt could have stopped it.

Stewart rejoined that their debate was being broadcast online, and Gerry and the Pacemakers wasn’t a reference the audience would likely get.  O’Reilly revised his statement, saying it didn’t matter if  “Lil' Wayne attacked” our embassy.

VIDEO: Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly face off over shrimp

4. Stewart freaks out when O’Reilly says the Iraq War shouldn't have happened.

The men were asked whether military or volunteer service should be mandatory. Stewart said “There should be a draft,” but “not necessarily for the military.” His would include the option for volunteer service.

O’Reilly said he was against the draft, period, and went on to muse about recent U.S. wars: “We should not have gone to Iraq. Afghanistan we had to.”

Stewart stood on his chair and yelled “Live tweet that:  Bill O’Reilly said we should not have gone into Iraq.”

5. O’Reilly reveals which famous person he would save.

Asked “Which famous person would you save if the U.S. were burning?”, O’Reilly gamely answered “Oprah -- she’s worth about $100 billion.” A bemused Stewart said “My family.... listen, Oprah’s a great answer too.”

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6. Stewart calls O’Reilly’s electoral plan “Chutes and Ladders.”

When asked how he would change U.S. democracy, O'Reilly pitched a plan he described as a “more participatory democracy,” in which only those who had voted in the previous election could vote in the next one.

“If you sat it out one time, then you’d miss a round,” O’Reilly said.

“Yeah, let’s do it like a game of Chutes and Ladders,” Stewart said, mockingly.

O’Reilly explained he simply wanted people to become “more involved.”

“Fifty percent of people know nothing,” about government O’Reilly said. “'The Jersey Shore' people ... the 'Colbert (Report)' watchers.”

Stewart rejoined: “Yeah, not everyone’s as bright as a Fox viewer."

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7. Stewart picks O’Reilly’s “silliest” statement of the evening.

While sparring over whether government should run the healthcare system, O’Reilly said one need look no further than Great Britain for why government run healthcare doesn’t work. “In Britain, everyone’s teeth have fallen out,” he joked.

O’Reilly argued government was good at running things such as the military and the tax system, because it had a “tradition” of doing so -- while it had no such tradition with healthcare.

“That may be the silliest thing you've said all night,” Stewart said, before arguing government could make healthcare part of a proud tradition, just as the military is.

8. Stewart sits on O’Reilly’s lap.

Stewart and O’Reilly were asked how it was possible two opposing personalities such as themselves could sit down to hash out ideas, yet Congress could not do the same. Did they have any advice for the divided Congress?

Stewart climbed onto O’Reilly’s lap, and the men sat there uncomfortably for several moments.

“And what would you like for Christmas, little boy?” O’Reilly asked, before throwing Stewart off. (They moved on without answering the question.)

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9. O’Reilly reveals why he could never host "The Daily Show."

Asked if they could switch jobs for a week, O’Reilly said  “Are you kidding? I’d have to work in the same building as Colbert?”

Stewart said visiting the Fox News building was fun, because the Eye of Sauron was on top of it. He also noted Fox employees resembled the slave children from "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom."

“The only way I’d do it is if someone kicked me hard in the nuts,” Stewart concluded.

10. Stewart and O’Reilly show each other some love.

So ... what do the two men admire about each other? Stewart joked O’Reilly “coordinates a mean outfit," He then got serious, adding “Bill comes by his principles honestly. He’s a smart guy. He’s a funny guy ... this idea that disagreeing with somebody ... means you should not engage them is ridiculous.” 

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O’Reilly kept it short, joking he admired a man who could complete rehab six times and still become as successful as Stewart.

He added “Stewart tomorrow is going to visit the wounded troops.”

O’Reilly let that sink in with the crowd, which responded with big applause.

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Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly.

Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart and Fox News Channel’s Bill O’Reilly will debate each other about political issues during a live event to be streamed over the Internet.

O’Reilly announced the event on his show, "The O’Reilly Factor," on Monday night.

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“The format is exactly like the presidential debates, without all the phoniness and pomposity,” O’Reilly said.

The debate is dubbed “The Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Auditorium” and is set for Oct. 6 at George Washington University in Washington. Tickets for the live show are $4.95 apiece, and half the profits are earmarked for charities.

O’Reilly called the event a win-win situation.

“You win because we kept the price very low and it will be a fun evening,” O’Reilly said during his Monday show. “The nation wins because there will be plenty of no-spin analysis about serious issues. Stewart wins because he finally makes the big time, and I win because I can make fun of Stewart.”

VIDEO: Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly face off over shrimp

The pair are seen trash-talking each other at the website TheRumble2012.com, which is also where they are telling their fans to go to sign up for the online stream.

One video says of the event, “It’s why Al Gore invented the Internet.”

In another video, Stewart likens the debate to Thunderdome, except that “two men enter and both leave, but probably not together.”

O’Reilly promises a “train wreck” in another video.

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“It will be a night to remember,” says O’Reilly. “At least for Stewart and his 18 writers.”

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There are fans of Bill Murray, and then there are fans. And it's hard to imagine a more dedicated set of fans of the "Ghostbusters" and "Groundhog Day" star than Sweatshop Union, a supergroup of Canadian rap acts who have a new single titled simply, "Bill Murray."

The beats are solid but the lyrics (and the repetition of Murray's face in the video) are what sell the song:

You'll never wake up and be
Half the man me and Bill is
Was then and still is
Hands down the billest
There really ain't another one
Grand like your mother's mum
Chill, you ain't like Murray, Bill
More like O'Reilly
So try me.

(Note: Some language in the video may offend some readers.)

(There's also an amusing passing reference to "Chevy Chasin' a dream" -- remember, Murray and "Community's" Chevy Chase were once on "Saturday Night Live" and "Caddyshack" together -- and nods to characters from several Murray films, including "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou" and "The Royal Tenenbaums."

Sweatshop Collective includes several rap names which may be more familiar above the border than below, but is comprised of members of Dirty Circus, Pigeon Hole, Krypios and Innocent Bystander. The tune is part of a new release called "The Bill Murray EP," which was released via Urbnet.

And for completeists out there: This isn't even the first Murray-titled/inspired tune; Gorillaz (another supergroup of sorts) released "Bill Murray" a few years ago, though he's not name-checked in the lyrics.

Who knew that the 61-year old actor's latest starring role would be as a muse?

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Andrew D. Bernstein / NHLI via Getty Images

Tom Hanks has apologized for invoking Fox News host Bill O'Reilly in a joke he made during a now-controversial blackface skit from 2004.

The video, which surfaced this week, which shows Hanks hosting an annual fundraiser next to a man in black face and an Afro wig, prompting a controversy that has already driven Hanks to call the incident "hideously offensive."

In an e-mail Tuesday night to the Daily Caller, which first reported on the video, Hanks apologized again, this time for making O'Reilly the butt of the joke.

"I used Bill O'Reilly as the punch line of an uncomfortable joke that was hardly funny and unfair," Hanks told the conservative news website.

In the video, from a fundraiser at the Pacific Palisades' St. Matthew's Parish School, which Hanks' kids attended, the actor appears next to investment banker James Montgomery, CEO of Montgomery & Company.

Montgomery is wearing blackface and at one point, Hanks jokes "Ladies and gentlemen, a celebrity in our midst. Who would have thought that Bill O'Reilly would join us?"

O'Reilly, the top-rated host in cable news, is a frequent target of liberal ire given his prominence among conservatives.

O'Reilly, a provocateur himself, told the Caller that he accepted Hanks' apology and assumed he was just trying to tell a joke -- but an inappropriate one at that.

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Bill O’Reilly may not be defending Rush Limbaugh this week, however he did defend insurance coverage of Viagra rather than that of birth control.

Appearing Thursday on “The View,” O’Reilly weighed in on the debate as to whether contraception should be covered in President Obama’s new health care initiative. The media personality said contraception use did not fall into the appropriate category for coverage, as defined by the Centers for Disease Control, while erectile dysfunction did.

"Viagra comes under the government’s guidelines for a medical condition. Contraception doesn't," O’Reilly said.

O’Reilly has already voiced a similar opinion on his own show, “The O’Reilly Factor,” remarking on March 2, “This Viagra argument is another canard. Nobody is saying that American women should be denied insurance coverage if something is physically wrong with them, and that’s what Viagra covers for men, so this is B.S. And by the way, nobody is denying women birth control either, it’s on sale everywhere…Men need to be physically in shape, so, why don’t we pick up gym memberships, that's a health issue, right?”

A compelling argument? For some, not really.

“Bill misrepresents the issue,” write a reader going by valkyrie101 on Mediaite.com. “It is not just about birth control pills, it is about getting the doctor's advice associated with what is unquestionably a medical care decision. Bill says women who are employed by a church employer who is opposed to birth control can omit this care, while providing Viagra to men for their supposed dysfunctions. That makes no sense.”

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Angelina Jolie at the Oscars.

It’s been much ado about Angelina Jolie’s leg since Sunday night’s Oscar telecast, but now it seems focus has shifted to her slim figure.

This week, Bill O’Reilly offered a “reality check” for the 36-year-old star on his nightly program, “The O’Reilly Factor,” suggesting her arguably frail figure could be cause for concern.

"Is it just me or is she looking mighty slim these days? Emaciated even?" posed the outspoken media personality to audiences. "I was kind of taken aback. Look at the arms on her! Once again the media largely ignoring Ms. Jolie's physical profile, but she is a role model for some women. I mean, she is slight. Let’s hope it’s nothing unusual."

O’Reilly wasn’t the only one with an opinion on Jolie’s figure. Us Weekly reports her less-than-voluptuous frame became an instant topic on Twitter Oscar night, at one point generating 3,399 tweets per minute.

Dr. Drew Pinsky took a stance on his HLN show “Dr. Drew,” saying to viewers, “My eye tells me that she is dangerously malnourished.” 

Jolie was at the award show to present honors for best original screenplay and adapted screenplay, attending alongside her partner, Brad Pitt, who was nominated for his role in “Moneyball.”

Many said the star looked fine, and some took to task the weight obsession of Hollywood and those who follow its stars.

“She is GORGEOUS, period,” comments reader Janet Bowie on Us.

“She's definitely skinny,” Eileenla writes on The Huffington Post. “So what? If she feels healthy, skinny is fine. If she wants to put on a few pounds, that's fine too. Perhaps if we stopped obsessing about weight and external appearances in this country and focused more on supporting our mental, emotional and physical health (what a concept!) people would worry less about how their clothes fit and concern themselves more with how fit their minds, hearts and bodies are.”

“She doesn't look any thinner than half of Hollywood,” adds jstjuls.

Many pointed out that jabs about excess weight are considered offensive, asking why it's OK to go the other route. Wrote Kelsey Wallace on Bitch Magazine's site, "Body snarking of the "eat a sammich, skinny" variety is hardly different from body snarking of the "stop eating sammiches, fatty" variety that we (hopefully) know better than to post in our Facebook feeds."

 On the other hand, others are siding with O’Reilly, even if it pains them to admit it.

 “I was sitting at a bar watching the Oscars,” comments Zoidberg2016 on The Huffington Post. “When she took to the stage, everyone else pretty much had the same opinion as Bill. And for once in my life, I agree with him.”

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With success comes imitators, as "The Colbert Report's" Stephen Colbert discovered Tuesday when he learned that his wildly-popular and financially-lucrative Super PAC had earned him the enmity of one politician (Nancy Pelosi) and the most sincere form of flattery from another (President Obama).

On Tuesday night, Colbert noted, "I have owned this story since last June when I formed Colbert Super PAC with one simple yet noble goal: To raise massive amounts of money. And I did it. ... Now it seems everyone is riding my wallet tails."

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi has released her own ad -- going after Colbert for his Super PAC as she tries to promote her DISCLOSE Act, which will require some measure of disclosure for election funds. Her PAC ad "attacks" Colbert for, among other things, his evident dislike for kittens. (Colbert then proved he loves Whiskers and "uh, Whiskers 2" by pulling them out from under his desk.)

But he appeared most pleased by President Obama's "180" turn on Super PACs; having found them dismaying before, the President's campaign committee has now begun soliciting donations to his own Super PAC. Apparently, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. "It's like how Lincoln won the civil war by buying a bunch of slaves," said Colbert, who then welcomed Obama to the dark side: "You are now 'Darth Bama.'"

Over at "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," FOX News commentator and host of "The O'Reilly Factor" Bill O'Reilly sat down with Leno to share his thoughts on Whitney Houston (again) and the election. Leno got some applause when he admitted he only knew what presidential hopeful Rick Santorum was against, but not what he was for. "I don't understand this anti-gay thing. It doesn't make any sense to me," said Leno. "We're Americans; we should include everybody."

He asked O'Reilly if religion should play a big role in politics, and O'Reilly replied: "I think people should define their religion and why they believe what they believe if you're running for president ... but I don't think they should be saying my religion is better than yours."

David Letterman kept things light on "The Late Show" (and found a way to show doctored footage of Mitt Romney's dog begging to be let into the car) by noting that movies other than the new "King of Bain: When Mitt Romney Came to Town" documentary have been made about the presidential hopeful. His "Top Ten Other Movies About Mitt Romney" included "Mitty Mitty Bang Bang," "The Mittrix," "Mittion: Impossible," Mr. Romney Doesn't Go to Washington," "Dog on a Hot Car Roof" (cue footage) and, at No. 1 ... "They're Just Not That Into You."

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Fox News

On his Fox News show, "The O'Reilly Factor," Bill O'Reilly said Jon Stewart was headed for hell.

"Daily Show" host Jon Stewart found himself in hot water -- and maybe bound for something far, far hotter -- after he declared a mock war on Christmas.

"A couple of nights ago, I responded to the ginned-up outrage that many Christmas celebrants feel when they are unable to celebrate Christmas at all times, in all places," Stewart told viewers on Thursday night's show.

He then ran a clip of his call to war, which not so surprisingly, caught the attention of his TV nemesis and frequent feud partner, Bill O'Reilly.

"Our pal Jon Stewart is following the various Christmas controversies very closely," the man Stewart dubbed "one of Santa's unusually large elves" told his "O'Reilly Factor" audience before adding, "Now, there is no question Mr. Stewart is going to hell."

OooK. Well, even if O'Reilly wasn't totally serious about that claim -- and he did let out a little chuckle after making it -- as it turns out, the joke's still on him. Because his rival isn't exactly afraid of the flames.

"Here's what you and your minions don't understand, O'Reilly," Stewart stated. "Your hell doesn't scare me. I make my living watching Fox News eight hours a day. I'm already in hell."

Snap!

Do you think O'Reilly will let the war of words drop, or should Stewart expect another jab to come his way soon? Tell us in the comments section below.

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