Jon Stewart still hasn’t forgiven President Barack Obama for his debate performance last week. In fact, judging by the Wednesday night “Daily Show,” his frustration has only gotten worse.

“Election watchers are on the lookout this late in the campaign season for what they refer to as an October Surprise. Well, it appears that time is upon us as evidenced by the recent presidential debate in which President Obama revealed his explosive October Surprise -- that he has given up,” Stewart said to open the political commentary section of the show.

Harsh. But it didn’t end there. Stewart also isn't a fan of Obama’a comeback strategy, which involves a one-way strategic alliance with "Sesame Street," as evidenced by Obama’s rally quip: “Thank Goodness someone is finally getting tough on Big Bird.”

“Excellent ... next day comeback. It’s that 3 a.m. ‘Oh, that’s what I should have said!’” Stewart said.

But the quip has turned into a full-fledged marketing strategy, with TV ads rushed to market ridiculing Mitt Romney for taking on "Sesame Street" instead of Wall Street, and will.i.am beginning a rally for the president by playing the theme song.

“That ad allowed John McCain -- John McCain! -- to laugh at you!” Stewart said. “Let it go!”

This wouldn’t be the United States of America if companies weren’t using the presidential campaign to try and move product.

Both 7-Eleven and Pizza Hut have marketing strategies tied to the election. The red-or-blue cups campaign, where customers theoretically pick the cup of the candidate they support, as opposed to the one nearest to the Big Gulp machine or not covered with Slurpee slime, has Obama with a 20-point lead.

Those are just about the only poll numbers that are trending in the president’s direction though, as Stephen Colbert noted on "The Colbert Report," the results are likely biased. It’s not like Mitt Romney can vote for himself there, given that many Mormons skip caffeine.

Pizza Hut, meanwhile, is offering 30 years worth of free food to anyone who will use next week’s Town Hall debate to ask the candidates about their pizza topping preferences. “We recognize that there are a lot of serious issues to be debated, but we also know a lot less serious -- but no less important -- ones are being discussed inside houses across the country,” its statement said.

“True. Issues like 'What the (expletive) has happened to American Democracy?'” Colbert responded.

Colbert later interviewed Naomi Wolf, author of “Vagina: A New Biography.” She’s been a guest on the show before, and the host gave credit where it was due.

“The last time you were here, five years ago, you were here for the book 'The End of America.' You were like Jeremiah on the mountain telling us we were just a couple of years away from a Totalitarian Police State that would crush all of our rights,” Colbert said. “How did you stop it?”

Wolf didn’t take the credit. Perhaps she’s saving that story for her next book.

Meanwhile on "Late Show," David Letterman reached out to Mitt Romney from afar and said that "job one," if he wants to win this election, is to come on his program "and shut me up." Letterman then took a look into Romney's future following a big loss at the polls, with a series of made-up headlines that pointed out the reason for the loss: His failure to go on Letterman's show. "Just prove I'm a dumb-a-- punk, and you've got to come here and do it now," he dared Romney. 

And over on "The Tonight Show," Jay Leno looked more deeply into who was behind the airplane that flew over a speech Romney made on a farm in Ohio. The plane carried a banner that read "Crack down on Wall Street, not 'Sesame Street.'" His discovery: The two jokers flying the plane were none other than ... Ernie and Bert.

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Comedy Central

Jon Stewart on "The Daily Show."

It was the first “Daily Show” for Jon Stewart since Saturday’s debate with Bill O’Reilly. If you didn’t get to see it, you’re not alone. Apparently the World Wide Web  may be big enough for the both of them, but not big enough to accommodate all of their fans and their download requests.

"I apologize for that. Turns out that the Internet is a series of tubes, and if you stuff too much in a series of tubes, it won’t work,” Stewart said.

But it was the other debate that continued to occupy the focus of the show. Mitt Romney is generally considered to have won his showdown with President Barack Obama, but one of the soundbites that everyone is talking about is his plan to cut funding for public broadcasting -- including Big Bird and “Sesame Street.”

“So pack your mugs and your Four Tenor DVDs and your tote bags and ride the high culture train back to cancel town,” Stewart said.

The usual suspects approved. Lou Dobbs was fired up about cutting $8 million from public broadcasting, despite his earlier criticisms that Obama’s desire to end $4 billion in oil subsidies was such a small amount that it wasn’t worth worrying about. In fairness, $4 billion might just be Dobbs’ hair care budget.

It was the fine folks at Fox News, who Stewart refers to with a profanity that got his 8-year-old in trouble for repeating it, who are most thrilled at the prospect of America’s youth not being brainwashed by liberal hacks like Grover and Big Bird.

“So Fox News is upset that empty-headed puppets are trying to brainwash and indoctrinate Americans. Well perhaps you could sue them,” Stewart said. “The charge could be copyright infringement.”

Later, he and his correspondents suggested a new name and slogan: Patriot Street. “Can you tell me how to get? How to get to Patriot Street?! With fiscal responsibility, that’s how!”

Stewart also gave some time to the Republican allegations that the recent positive jobs report was the result of cooking the books by the Obama administration.

But Stephen Colbert on the “Colbert Report” went farther and provided the proof.

"Think of it. Last month 114,000 unemployed moochers, the President’s natural allies, suddenly yank their government teat out of their mouth and get off the couch for 40 hours a week. Why? I say follow the money,” Colbert said. “I found out that right around when those people got those jobs? They started getting paid. And just where did that money come from? Right out of the pockets of job creators!”

For those of a similar mind, or the folks the “New Yorker” cited as feeling persecuted for their wealth, Colbert has a new political group, Protecting Industry Titans & Yachtsmen (or the PITY Party).

“Persecuted rich, join the PITY party. Because Obama might be reelected. And if he’s willing to say that he wants to go after Wall Street in his first term, there’s a chance he might actually do something in his second.”

Colbert did break character for a moment interviewing Mark Kelly. Kelly is the author of the children’s book “'Mousetronaut,” but most know him as the former space shuttle captain and husband of former Arizona congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords. Giffords, of course, was shot at an event in Tucson in January 2011, and recovered enough to make an appearance at the Democratic National Convention.

“As a guy who is an astronaut, who has flown the shuttle four times and had 39 combat missions, did you ever think you’d be the second-most heroic person in your marriage?” he asked.

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After Mitt Romney's controversial comments about PBS at last week's presidential debate, you almost had to expect an appearance by Big Bird on "Saturday Night Live." The uber-popular "Sesame Street" character almost stole the perch, er show, from the equally iconic James Bond -- the suave 007 secret agent star, Daniel Craig, who showed his more humorous side hosting last night.

At the "Weekend Update" anchor desk, host Seth Myers wondered why Big Bird was immediately yawning.

"Are you bored?" he asked. 

"No, it's just that it's seven hours past my bedtime!"  As it turns out the "Sesame Street" star is familiar with Twitter, telling Meyers how he had learned about being mentioned on Wednesday's debate. "Oh, I got a million tweets."

“So you’re on Twitter?” Myers asked.

“No, I’m a bird! Tweeting is how we talk,” Big Bird quipped. 

The debate controversy brought the much-loved bird added attention. “I feel like I’m famous now,” Big Bird said. “I was walking down the street the other day and I felt like everybody recognized me. It’s so weird to think that just a few days ago, I could just blend in like every other perfectly normal 8-foot-tall talking bird!”

When asked if he had a political statement to make about the debate, Big Bird said, "No, I didn't want to ruffle any feathers." But he did have a joke. "Do you know who loves debates? De-fishes. Because fish eat bait!"

As part of his "Presidential Debate 2012 Winners/Losers," the rest of Meyers' "Weekend Update" was filled with political zingers toward  moderator Jim Lehrer, criticizing him for repeatedly allowing Romney and Obama to go over their allotted time on questions. “Jim, if that’s how long you think two minutes is, your wife is a very lucky woman.”

Meyers acknowledged Fox News as a "winner" and said the network must have said after the debate, “I think we can report this exactly the way it happened.”

"SNL"  opened with a debate sketch that tried to explain why Obama (Jay Pharoah) was distracted during the first debate -- he was thinking about an anniversary present for his wife Michelle, and had difficulty with Denver's high altitude. 

The best part of  Daniel Craig hosting "Saturday Night Live"? Being able to see a trailer for "Skyfall," the latest James Bond thriller, opening next month!

What did you think about Daniel Craig as the host, or Big Bird visiting "Weekend Update"? Which was your favorite skit? Tell us on our Facebook page!

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Bill O'Reilly and Jon Stewart.

Basic cable frenemies Bill O’Reilly and Jon Stewart squared off Saturday night in a debate streamed online from George Washington University. Dubbed “The Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Auditorium,” the Fox News Channel and Comedy Central personalities tackled the issues -- and each other -- with a back and forth that was refreshingly rude compared to the staid politeness expected of presidential candidates.

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The debate included O'Reilly jokingly naming Clint Eastwood as the famous person he’d pick for U.S. President. Stewart responded by getting out of his chair and addressing its seat cushions. “Why don’t we ask him?” Stewart said, creating an “invisible Eastwood” in mockery of the actor’s Republican National Convention speech.

The debate was streamed online for $4.95, with half the proceeds going to charity. But the event, moderated by CNN and Fox veteran Ed Hill, proved too popular for its own good, as untold numbers of people were unable to stream it until halfway through the show. Complaints flooded into the Rumble 2012 Facebook page, which prompted organizers to post an apology, stating its servers were overloaded.

Below are 10 highlights from the O’Reilly vs. Stewart debate.

1. O’Reilly comes prepared -- with signs.

The O’Reilly Factor host is famous for the “Talking Points Memo” section of his TV show. Without the use of TV graphics to illustrate his points, O’Reilly came armed with a series of signs, including some that read: "Bush Is Gone" (to emphasize President George W. Bush can’t be blamed for our current problems); “Iran not frightened” (to argue President Obama’s foreign policy does not sufficiently keep Iran in line); “Drones Yes, Waterboards No” (to point out the irony of it being chic to condemn water boarding but not to be outraged over bombings.)

VIDEO: Jon Stewart's hilarious response to Presidential debate

2. Stewart calls O’Reilly Mayor of "B------- Mountain."

In a Daily Show episode last month, Stewart dubbed Fox News “B------- Mountain” for its response to Mitt Romney’s now infamous 47 percent hidden camera video. In the debate’s opening minutes, Stewart said he had come to plead with “the mayor of B------- Mountain” to talk some sense into his people (presumably Fox viewers and employees).

Shortly before, Stewart said his friend O’Reilly was “completely full of s---.”

3. Stewart helps O’Reilly make hip references.

After O’Reilly argued foreign aid is needed to “buy” friends in hot spots around the world, he said he didn’t care if “Gerry and the Pacemakers” attacked a U.S. Embassy, Egypt could have stopped it.

Stewart rejoined that their debate was being broadcast online, and Gerry and the Pacemakers wasn’t a reference the audience would likely get.  O’Reilly revised his statement, saying it didn’t matter if  “Lil' Wayne attacked” our embassy.

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4. Stewart freaks out when O’Reilly says the Iraq War shouldn't have happened.

The men were asked whether military or volunteer service should be mandatory. Stewart said “There should be a draft,” but “not necessarily for the military.” His would include the option for volunteer service.

O’Reilly said he was against the draft, period, and went on to muse about recent U.S. wars: “We should not have gone to Iraq. Afghanistan we had to.”

Stewart stood on his chair and yelled “Live tweet that:  Bill O’Reilly said we should not have gone into Iraq.”

5. O’Reilly reveals which famous person he would save.

Asked “Which famous person would you save if the U.S. were burning?”, O’Reilly gamely answered “Oprah -- she’s worth about $100 billion.” A bemused Stewart said “My family.... listen, Oprah’s a great answer too.”

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6. Stewart calls O’Reilly’s electoral plan “Chutes and Ladders.”

When asked how he would change U.S. democracy, O'Reilly pitched a plan he described as a “more participatory democracy,” in which only those who had voted in the previous election could vote in the next one.

“If you sat it out one time, then you’d miss a round,” O’Reilly said.

“Yeah, let’s do it like a game of Chutes and Ladders,” Stewart said, mockingly.

O’Reilly explained he simply wanted people to become “more involved.”

“Fifty percent of people know nothing,” about government O’Reilly said. “'The Jersey Shore' people ... the 'Colbert (Report)' watchers.”

Stewart rejoined: “Yeah, not everyone’s as bright as a Fox viewer."

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7. Stewart picks O’Reilly’s “silliest” statement of the evening.

While sparring over whether government should run the healthcare system, O’Reilly said one need look no further than Great Britain for why government run healthcare doesn’t work. “In Britain, everyone’s teeth have fallen out,” he joked.

O’Reilly argued government was good at running things such as the military and the tax system, because it had a “tradition” of doing so -- while it had no such tradition with healthcare.

“That may be the silliest thing you've said all night,” Stewart said, before arguing government could make healthcare part of a proud tradition, just as the military is.

8. Stewart sits on O’Reilly’s lap.

Stewart and O’Reilly were asked how it was possible two opposing personalities such as themselves could sit down to hash out ideas, yet Congress could not do the same. Did they have any advice for the divided Congress?

Stewart climbed onto O’Reilly’s lap, and the men sat there uncomfortably for several moments.

“And what would you like for Christmas, little boy?” O’Reilly asked, before throwing Stewart off. (They moved on without answering the question.)

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9. O’Reilly reveals why he could never host "The Daily Show."

Asked if they could switch jobs for a week, O’Reilly said  “Are you kidding? I’d have to work in the same building as Colbert?”

Stewart said visiting the Fox News building was fun, because the Eye of Sauron was on top of it. He also noted Fox employees resembled the slave children from "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom."

“The only way I’d do it is if someone kicked me hard in the nuts,” Stewart concluded.

10. Stewart and O’Reilly show each other some love.

So ... what do the two men admire about each other? Stewart joked O’Reilly “coordinates a mean outfit," He then got serious, adding “Bill comes by his principles honestly. He’s a smart guy. He’s a funny guy ... this idea that disagreeing with somebody ... means you should not engage them is ridiculous.” 

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O’Reilly kept it short, joking he admired a man who could complete rehab six times and still become as successful as Stewart.

He added “Stewart tomorrow is going to visit the wounded troops.”

O’Reilly let that sink in with the crowd, which responded with big applause.

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Comedy Central

Jon Stewart closed his week with a big name on “The Daily Show,” using the final two segments to interview former president Bill Clinton.

Clinton was more subdued than he was at the Democratic National Convention, when he energized an audience with his extended defense of President Barack Obama and his criticisms of Republican nominee Mitt Romney and the Republicans. Loud though the “Daily Show” audience is, it’s not like the convention. Plus there were no balloons or confetti. But Clinton obviously remains proud of what he said there, and focused on getting Democrats to the polls.

“I think the American people take this election seriously,” Clinton said. “They know they have to make choices that will affect their lives, and it’s not very helpful if you take up their time and don’t tell them what their choices are, and that’s what I tried to do.”

Clinton noted that Romney has had to tack to the right, whether because of a change in his political philosophy or as a way to get elected. “Part of the problem that he has is that he made all these commitments in the Primary campaign, and they just kept pushing everyone to the right. Every week another candidate came up and it was like Whack-A-Mole, he had to knock them down.”

But now the big problem Romney has, according to Clinton, is his lack of specificity on key details.

“If I come to you and I say we have this terrible national debt, and here’s my opening gambit -- the first thing I’m going to do is raise it by another $5 trillion over a decade by doing another round of tax cuts that mostly benefit the people who benefitted over the past decade even though it didn’t produce jobs. Now we’re in a really deep hole, now let me tell you how I’m gonna get out of it. Well what about the details? See me after the election,” Clinton imitated.

Yeah, when you put it that way, it’s not very convincing.

Before moving on to talk about the Clinton Global Initiative, he closed with a plea to move from ideology to practicality.

“This is a practical country. We have ideals. We have philosophies. But the problem with any ideology is that it gives the answer before you look at the evidence, so you have to mold the evidence to fit the answer you’ve already decided you’ve got to have.”

Elsewhere in late night, the focus stayed on Romney.

David Letterman addressed the candidate's claim that the “Late Show” host doesn’t like him because he has appeared on the “Tonight Show” with Jay Leno. On the contrary, said a peeved Letterman, who insisted that the Republican presidential candidate, and his “little buddy Gilligan” – aka vice presidential nominee Rep. Paul Ryan -- have an open invitation to visit the show anytime.

“The man is delusional,” Letterman said. “If he thinks we hate him … We are not in the hate business. We are here looking to make friends. … Now, Mitt Romney has been on the show many, many times. Let me ask you something, Mitt. If we hated you, why do we keep begging you to be on the show? 

“Let me go out on a limb here and say … Mitt Romney or his little buddy, the vice president, who’s the little guy (referring to Paul Ryan) … Gilligan, his little buddy Gilligan … they have an open invitation to be on the show anytime, on short notice. You want to be here tomorrow? Fine. You want to be here Monday? Anytime, I don’t care. Bring in Mitt Romney, bring in Paul Ryan, bring in Mitt and Mrs. Mitt, bring in the kids … bring in everybody. We don’t hate you, Mitt! We don’t hate people!”

Meanwhile, on "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon," Fallon channeled his inner-Romney to give viewers a glimpse at just how hip the Republican presidential candidate might look like if he addressed the Internet directly.

Proving that he's a "cool, down-to-Earth, normal dude person," Fallon's Romney put together a Rom Bomb Video Vlog Blog and smoothed over his recent "slip-up."

"When I said that 47 percent of folks are dependent on government and believe that they're entitled to food, healthcare and housing, I was just joshing! Hahahaha!"

Then, keeping with the cool-cat stuff, Fallon-as-Romney showed off a picture of his grandkids all dressed up in gingham -- which was the perfect moment to show off his "Gingham Style" moves.

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Comedy Central

Jon Stewart finds the Fox News coverage on Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney hard to swallow.

If the Mitt Romney campaign hoped the leaked video of his ill-considered remarks at a May fundraiser would be a one-night story … well, it was mistaken. But Fox News came away with as many woes as the candidate when Jon Stewart was done with his “Daily Show” monologue Wednesday night.

The tape of Romney dismissing those who receive Federal subsidies as being unworthy of his attention was the gift that keeps on giving for Stewart, who rarely misses the chance to point out political ridiculousness when he sees it. The “entitlement” debate, dismissing 47% of voters as moochers, was right up his ally.

“Entitled to food! Medicine! Roofs!” Stewart said, feigning outrage at those who would dare to hope for such luxuries. “That’s the Republican candidate for the presidency seemingly characterizing a broad swath of Americans which would include veterans, the elderly, the working poor and much of the middle class as a bunch of freeloaders.”

But Stewart saved much of his venom for Fox News, which he called both the “Romney campaign headquarters” and an impolite term for a mountain filled with the waste products of a male bovine -- ahem. Examining the “fair and balanced” spin coming from the network’s ranks, Stewart noted that Fox first tried to dismiss the video because it came from the liberal Mother Jones magazine, via Jimmy Carter’s grandson.

(Warning: The following clip contains some profanity.)

“Oh my God! Your campaign got blown out by Jimmy Carter’s grandson! Oh, the Habitat for Humanity,” Stewart said. “So word one from (expletive) Mountain is well yeah, he said it, but you only found out about it because of people we don’t like.”

That was only part of the Republican response, of course. The spin took some other turns, with some arguing that Romney was speaking truth, though not artfully, and further indicating it was a strategy that could win him the election.

“Let me sum up the message, if I may,” Stewart said. “This inartfully stated dirty liberal smear … is a truthful expression of Mitt Romney’s political philosophy, and it is a winner.”

That wasn’t all. He also noted the folks at Fox  minimized the video because it was a distraction from the big issues people theoretically care more about and because of when it was taken … in May of this year.

“May! Oh, that sounds like before June. Who even remembers May?” Stewart said. “Grandfather, may I sit on your knee and hear you tell tales of what life was like way back in May?’”

If you followed the news, you know what happens next. A video of Obama talking about the redistribution of wealth was located and played, with all the usual commentary about how damaging it was. Of course, it was taken in 1998. When he was a State Senator from Illinois.

(Warning: The following clip contains some profanity.)

“So recorded videos are a distraction – here’s one on Obama,” Stewart said.

And then came the big finish.

“The biggest problems with the denizens of (expletive) Mountain is… If they had success they built it. If they failed, the government ruined it for them. If they get a break they deserve it. If you get a break, it’s a handout and an entitlement. It’s a baffling, willfully blind cognitive dissonance.”

Looks like he gave Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly some bulletin board material for when the two debate in October.

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Stephen Chernin / AP

Joe Perry.

Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry recently told Noisecreep.com that he's a "definite old-school Republican." As he explained, "I was taught that you get what you put into it. You can be anything you want to be if you work hard enough at it, and you can earn your place."

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Perry cited John F. Kennedy and Dwight Eisenhower as his favorite presidents, and he believes that America hasn't had a president of their quality since Ronald Reagan.

"I didn't believe in everything Kennedy said or did, but you believed in your heart that he was really there and he was going to stand up for what he believed in. That's what is most important," he said. "We all came up in that era when you were taught that you can do anything you set your minds to and by God, we walked on the moon, just like JFK said we would."

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However, politics still aggravate Perry. "So much of this stuff is politicizing. What the media does is so much about selling a product. It makes me kind of nuts," he said. He added of the political parties, "Now it's all meshed together and you can barely figure out one side from the other."

Aerosmith's next record, "Music From Another Dimension!" will be released on Nov. 6.

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Mitt Romney -- er, Jimmy Fallon -- attempts to explain the Republican presidential hopeful's recent "47 percent" remark on Tuesday's "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon."

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Romney on Monday found himself at the center of controversy after Mother Jones published a series of secret videos in which he is seen speaking candidly about a variety of hot button topics.

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The videos were taken at an intimate fundraiser earlier this year, in which Romney was not aware he was being recorded, and spoke freely about his opinions.

Among the sound bites drawing the most attention from voters: “There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That's an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what…These are people who pay no income tax.”

On his late-night show, Fallon impersonates Romney and addresses the comments, which he describes as "something to the effect of me not caring about 47 percent of the country because they're all basically freeloaders sucking off the teat of the rich."

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"Now I know what you're thinking, let's leave Kate Middleton out of this," he quips, referring to the Duchess of Cambridge, who is embroiled in a topless-photo scandal. "I admit what I said was not elegantly stated. Perhaps I made a bit of a 'Honey Boo Boo.'"

He also takes jabs at Amanda Bynes and "American Idol's" new four-person judging panel.

"Late Night" airs on NBC at 12:35 a.m. weeknights.

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Getty Images

Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly.

Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart and Fox News Channel’s Bill O’Reilly will debate each other about political issues during a live event to be streamed over the Internet.

O’Reilly announced the event on his show, "The O’Reilly Factor," on Monday night.

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“The format is exactly like the presidential debates, without all the phoniness and pomposity,” O’Reilly said.

The debate is dubbed “The Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Auditorium” and is set for Oct. 6 at George Washington University in Washington. Tickets for the live show are $4.95 apiece, and half the profits are earmarked for charities.

O’Reilly called the event a win-win situation.

“You win because we kept the price very low and it will be a fun evening,” O’Reilly said during his Monday show. “The nation wins because there will be plenty of no-spin analysis about serious issues. Stewart wins because he finally makes the big time, and I win because I can make fun of Stewart.”

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The pair are seen trash-talking each other at the website TheRumble2012.com, which is also where they are telling their fans to go to sign up for the online stream.

One video says of the event, “It’s why Al Gore invented the Internet.”

In another video, Stewart likens the debate to Thunderdome, except that “two men enter and both leave, but probably not together.”

O’Reilly promises a “train wreck” in another video.

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“It will be a night to remember,” says O’Reilly. “At least for Stewart and his 18 writers.”

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Comedy Central

Stephen Colbert.

The late-night talk show hosts were in agreement Thursday night. The stars of the Democratic National Convention were God and Bill Clinton.

Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert both had fun with the Democrats flip-flopping on the inclusion of the Lord in their political platform.

“I have faith in a God who’s not too insecure, who doesn’t freak out if you don’t mention his name enough,” Stewart said.

He also had fun with the process itself, which saw the Democrats conduct a voice vote approving the change multiple times before they got a result that maybe, sorta-kinda sounded somewhat close to being a two-thirds majority -- if you assumed that many "yes" voters were whispering. Surely the reflection of the results on the teleprompter before the vote took place had nothing to do with that decision. Surely.

“Tie goes to the prompter,” Stewart said. “On the positive side, we finally have found the evidence of Democratic voter fraud that the Republicans are always complaining about.”

On the other hand, Colbert noted that, “Party platforms always mention the Lord. For Pete’s sake, the Republican platform is just a picture of Jesus with a thought bubble that says ‘Get ‘Er Done.”

And the “Colbert Report” host warned, “Folks, he’s very sensitive. Read your Bible, he’s got a hair trigger. And of course the Democrats cannot hide what they’ve done from God, because he googles himself constantly.”

Clinton gets props

Jay Leno was more focused on Clinton, raving about his prime-time sales pitch for President Obama.

“Both conventions are probably over and if you watched, I think it’s clear who should be the next President of the United States -- Bill Clinton,” Leno said.

“Bill Clinton spent 50 minutes praising Barack Obama’s accomplishments as president. Imagine how long he would have talked if they actually liked each other,” the “Tonight Show” host added.

He also took some jabs at Republican nominee Mitt Romney’s taxes, commenting on the report that hackers claimed to have Romney’s tax records and threatened to release them unless they were paid off. “This is such an unethical money-making scheme that Mitt Romney said he was quite impressed -- ‘I could use these guys at Bain Capital. See if they’re available.’”

‘Letter to Santa Claus’

Stewart also got serious later in “The Daily Show,” interviewing Austan Goolsbee. The University of Chicago professor and former Chairman of the Council of Economic Advisors for Barack Obama had strong feelings on the “are you better off now than you were four years ago?” question.

“That was about the worst 4-5 months in the economic history of the United States,” Goolsbee said. “The thought that people would like to go back to then when we were losing 800,000 jobs a month is a joke.”

Goolsbee also noted that contrary to what they advertised, the Republican economic plan is vague to the point of irrelevance. “They keep saying it’s a specific plan. It’s not specific at all. The specifics are like ‘Make America better,’ Goolsbee said.

“It reads like a letter to Santa Claus,” Stewart agreed.

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Jason Merritt / Getty Images

Scarlett Johansson.

Democratic National Convention managers released their own list of "surprise" celebrity speakers Wednesday -- but don't expect any of them to bring furniture onstage.

Before President Barack Obama goes to the microphone Thursday in Charlotte, N.C., he will be preceded by Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman and Kerry Washington, according to a list of last-minute speakers provided to CNN by the DNC.

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The actresses are listed as following Foo Fighters on the itinerary. Eva Longoria also is expected to speak before Obama's appearance.

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Not only are the Democrats' most prominent celebrity speakers women, but their collective age barely equals Clint Eastwood's. It's another striking statement about the difference between the audiences the two conventions were meant to address.

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If the “Daily Show” audience is any indication, women are definitely ready to play a key role in deciding the 2012 presidential election. On Wednesday night, gender politics even trumped the crowd’s love for Jon Stewart.

Stewart had New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand to talk politics. The Democrat is not one for idle chitchat, and the initial banter between the two was excruciating to watch. But if there’s one issue that she can talk about for hours, it’s the Democrats efforts at winning women voters, and Gillibrand’s talking points were delivered with beating-the-audience-over-the-head-with-it intensity.

“I think women’s voices are going to be unbelievably important in this election, and I hope every woman watching will vote!” Gillibrand said. “Women are fundamentally engaged in this election not just because of reproductive rights, but because of economic issues -- equal pay for equal work; access to capital for small business.”

And....

“If we had 51% of women in Congress, do you think we’d be debating birth control? We’d be debating everything else that really matters. We need more women in Congress.”

And....

“Women are often good at building bipartisan consensus. We’re good listeners. We bring people together.”

To the latter point, Stewart noted “Hey, somebody’s gotta change the light bulbs.”

And the audience groaned.

“Wait a minute, she just (expletive) on men being able to form a consensus and compromise, and I make a joke about ‘at least we can change a light bulb’ and you’re like ‘that’s sexist.’”

Yup. Tough crowd.

Colbert: Democrats’ joy ‘unprofessional’

Of course, for a superficially hostile take on the Dems, there’s only one place to go in late-night television: “The Colbert Report.” And host Steven Colbert delivered with a diatribe against the volume and enthusiasm of the Democratic delegates.

“You could barely hear the speeches! They didn’t have that problem at the Republican convention, I’ll tell you,” Colbert said.

“They seemed unable to mute their joy. And I’m sorry, that volume of pleasure is just unprofessional. I mean the Fox News people could barely hear themselves saying 'it sucked.'”

Colbert’s guest was Michael Grunwald, the Time Magazine senior national correspondent and author of “The New New Deal,” a glowing look President Obama’s stimulus bill and its positive long-term effects. Economic discussion isn’t a recipe for compelling television, but their back-and-forth had its moments.

“Adding 150,000 jobs a month is a lot better than losing 800,000 jobs a month. It really was a new New Deal,” Grunwald said.

“Do you get a check directly from Obama, or does the Democratic Party pay you to say these things?” Colbert responded.

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