NBC

Jimmy Fallon.

Jimmy Fallon took his Tuesday night audience to the land of Make-Believe, as he donned his Mitt Romney outfit and salt-and-pepper hair and invited them to visit "Mister Romney's Neighborhood," a wicked riff on the classic PBS series "Mister Roger's Neighborhood."

Naturally, in Mitt's neighborhood, there's no soft blue cardigan to change into -- just another dark suit jacket -- and there's Manuel ready to take care of your shoewear. But Fallon-as-Romney had lessons to impart, such as the definition of money. "Do you know what money is?" he asked the camera. "I'm guessing no, because you're watching public television. Therefore you don't have cable. Therefore you're probably poor."

After a brief visit from President Obama (psst: not the real one), Fallon/Romney led audiences to the neighborhood of Make-Believe. "That's where me and Paul Ryan get most of our facts from," he said, strapping a stuffed dog to the top of the trolley for the journey.

Truly, a joke that never gets old. And what did we learn about the land of Make-Believe? About things that don't really exist in the real world -- like a cat, in a tree house. Or Romney's tax returns.

Meanwhile, the boys at Comedy Central were hot on the trail in another way. Romney's surge in the polls led "The Daily Show's" Jon Stewart to declare the election all but over, much like it was a lock for Barack Obama a week ago. But that’s nothing compared to how Stephen Colbert feels.

Colbert’s guest on "The Colbert Report" was a delightfully cranky Morrissey, who again put the kibosh on any reunion of The Smiths and seemed to be contemplating renouncing his anti-meat stance to turn Colbert into a plate of bacon. But he saved his biggest rant for the British royal family.

“I think they are arrogant, horrible dictators,” Morrissey said.

Guess that knighthood honor will have to wait.

But Colbert defended the honor of Princess Kate and company. Finally, Morrissey asked: “Do you have a royal family?”

“Yes. It’s called the Romneys,” Colbert said.

With a Romney presidency a certainty, Stewart took a look at how Mitt Romney might do something to eliminate that trillion dollar deficit he calls “immoral.” The Republican nominee has already said that social security and medicare won’t be changed for senior citizens. Job training is OK. He’ll even add to the Navy by 15 ships a year, including three submarines.

“It may sound fiscally irresponsible, but just seven more submarines and America gets a free sandwich,” Stewart said.

Moreover, all of that would come with the 20 percent tax cut that Romney has already promised.

"We get to keep all our stuff -- and pay less for it! This is like those special potato chips that they made with Olestra that had all of the flavor and none of the calories,” Stewart said.

The obvious item that could be used to make those numbers work is a repeal of Obamacare, the sacred cause of many a Republican candidate this election cycle. But Romney said he intends to maintain some of the provisions he likes, like coverage of preexisting conditions and extending the period children can be covered on their parents policy.

Which caused Stewart to ask: “Are you a wizard? Do you know or have you ever captured a leprechaun? Is there a goose in your house that produces eggs that are unusually heavy? Because if not, you’re lying!”

And he’s still looking for more specificity, saying “Dude couldn’t be more vague if he were an HBO season finale!”

Though even Democratic fans of “The Sopranos” would give the award to HBO in that category.

Of course, Steven Colbert is happier with current events. “He is on a rocket ride to plausible!” Colbert gushed about Romney’s recent surge. But he’s not taking anything for granted either.

President Obama warned at a recent event that “we’re only going to do it if everyone is almost obsessive for the next 29 days.” Colbert chastened his fans for their passivity.

“That’s right Obama supporters. Right now you’re only logged on to his website, Facebook page, Twitter feed, YouTube channel, mobile app, Pintrest board, Tumblr, Flicker, Spotify, Storify and Instagram. He needs you to commit!”

Related content:

• Jon Stewart offers directions to 'Patriot Street'; Stephen Colbert creates the PITY party
• O'Reilly vs. Stewart: Best moments from online 'Rumble'
• Stewart, Colbert dissect debate; Kimmel reenacts it
• Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert join forces for the other big debate
• Stephen Colbert takes on political preachers, while Letterman lands Romney interview -- sort of

Comedy Central

Jon Stewart on "The Daily Show."

It was the first “Daily Show” for Jon Stewart since Saturday’s debate with Bill O’Reilly. If you didn’t get to see it, you’re not alone. Apparently the World Wide Web  may be big enough for the both of them, but not big enough to accommodate all of their fans and their download requests.

"I apologize for that. Turns out that the Internet is a series of tubes, and if you stuff too much in a series of tubes, it won’t work,” Stewart said.

But it was the other debate that continued to occupy the focus of the show. Mitt Romney is generally considered to have won his showdown with President Barack Obama, but one of the soundbites that everyone is talking about is his plan to cut funding for public broadcasting -- including Big Bird and “Sesame Street.”

“So pack your mugs and your Four Tenor DVDs and your tote bags and ride the high culture train back to cancel town,” Stewart said.

The usual suspects approved. Lou Dobbs was fired up about cutting $8 million from public broadcasting, despite his earlier criticisms that Obama’s desire to end $4 billion in oil subsidies was such a small amount that it wasn’t worth worrying about. In fairness, $4 billion might just be Dobbs’ hair care budget.

It was the fine folks at Fox News, who Stewart refers to with a profanity that got his 8-year-old in trouble for repeating it, who are most thrilled at the prospect of America’s youth not being brainwashed by liberal hacks like Grover and Big Bird.

“So Fox News is upset that empty-headed puppets are trying to brainwash and indoctrinate Americans. Well perhaps you could sue them,” Stewart said. “The charge could be copyright infringement.”

Later, he and his correspondents suggested a new name and slogan: Patriot Street. “Can you tell me how to get? How to get to Patriot Street?! With fiscal responsibility, that’s how!”

Stewart also gave some time to the Republican allegations that the recent positive jobs report was the result of cooking the books by the Obama administration.

But Stephen Colbert on the “Colbert Report” went farther and provided the proof.

"Think of it. Last month 114,000 unemployed moochers, the President’s natural allies, suddenly yank their government teat out of their mouth and get off the couch for 40 hours a week. Why? I say follow the money,” Colbert said. “I found out that right around when those people got those jobs? They started getting paid. And just where did that money come from? Right out of the pockets of job creators!”

For those of a similar mind, or the folks the “New Yorker” cited as feeling persecuted for their wealth, Colbert has a new political group, Protecting Industry Titans & Yachtsmen (or the PITY Party).

“Persecuted rich, join the PITY party. Because Obama might be reelected. And if he’s willing to say that he wants to go after Wall Street in his first term, there’s a chance he might actually do something in his second.”

Colbert did break character for a moment interviewing Mark Kelly. Kelly is the author of the children’s book “'Mousetronaut,” but most know him as the former space shuttle captain and husband of former Arizona congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords. Giffords, of course, was shot at an event in Tucson in January 2011, and recovered enough to make an appearance at the Democratic National Convention.

“As a guy who is an astronaut, who has flown the shuttle four times and had 39 combat missions, did you ever think you’d be the second-most heroic person in your marriage?” he asked.

Related content:

• O'Reilly vs. Stewart: Best moments from online 'Rumble'
• Stewart, Colbert dissect debate; Kimmel reenacts it
• Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert join forces for the other big debate
• Stephen Colbert takes on political preachers, while Letterman lands Romney interview -- sort of

Bill O'Reilly and Jon Stewart.

Basic cable frenemies Bill O’Reilly and Jon Stewart squared off Saturday night in a debate streamed online from George Washington University. Dubbed “The Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Auditorium,” the Fox News Channel and Comedy Central personalities tackled the issues -- and each other -- with a back and forth that was refreshingly rude compared to the staid politeness expected of presidential candidates.

PHOTOS: THR's 35 most powerful people in media

The debate included O'Reilly jokingly naming Clint Eastwood as the famous person he’d pick for U.S. President. Stewart responded by getting out of his chair and addressing its seat cushions. “Why don’t we ask him?” Stewart said, creating an “invisible Eastwood” in mockery of the actor’s Republican National Convention speech.

The debate was streamed online for $4.95, with half the proceeds going to charity. But the event, moderated by CNN and Fox veteran Ed Hill, proved too popular for its own good, as untold numbers of people were unable to stream it until halfway through the show. Complaints flooded into the Rumble 2012 Facebook page, which prompted organizers to post an apology, stating its servers were overloaded.

Below are 10 highlights from the O’Reilly vs. Stewart debate.

1. O’Reilly comes prepared -- with signs.

The O’Reilly Factor host is famous for the “Talking Points Memo” section of his TV show. Without the use of TV graphics to illustrate his points, O’Reilly came armed with a series of signs, including some that read: "Bush Is Gone" (to emphasize President George W. Bush can’t be blamed for our current problems); “Iran not frightened” (to argue President Obama’s foreign policy does not sufficiently keep Iran in line); “Drones Yes, Waterboards No” (to point out the irony of it being chic to condemn water boarding but not to be outraged over bombings.)

VIDEO: Jon Stewart's hilarious response to Presidential debate

2. Stewart calls O’Reilly Mayor of "B------- Mountain."

In a Daily Show episode last month, Stewart dubbed Fox News “B------- Mountain” for its response to Mitt Romney’s now infamous 47 percent hidden camera video. In the debate’s opening minutes, Stewart said he had come to plead with “the mayor of B------- Mountain” to talk some sense into his people (presumably Fox viewers and employees).

Shortly before, Stewart said his friend O’Reilly was “completely full of s---.”

3. Stewart helps O’Reilly make hip references.

After O’Reilly argued foreign aid is needed to “buy” friends in hot spots around the world, he said he didn’t care if “Gerry and the Pacemakers” attacked a U.S. Embassy, Egypt could have stopped it.

Stewart rejoined that their debate was being broadcast online, and Gerry and the Pacemakers wasn’t a reference the audience would likely get.  O’Reilly revised his statement, saying it didn’t matter if  “Lil' Wayne attacked” our embassy.

VIDEO: Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly face off over shrimp

4. Stewart freaks out when O’Reilly says the Iraq War shouldn't have happened.

The men were asked whether military or volunteer service should be mandatory. Stewart said “There should be a draft,” but “not necessarily for the military.” His would include the option for volunteer service.

O’Reilly said he was against the draft, period, and went on to muse about recent U.S. wars: “We should not have gone to Iraq. Afghanistan we had to.”

Stewart stood on his chair and yelled “Live tweet that:  Bill O’Reilly said we should not have gone into Iraq.”

5. O’Reilly reveals which famous person he would save.

Asked “Which famous person would you save if the U.S. were burning?”, O’Reilly gamely answered “Oprah -- she’s worth about $100 billion.” A bemused Stewart said “My family.... listen, Oprah’s a great answer too.”

PHOTO: Hollywood's campaign contributions: 15 of the best election-themed movies

6. Stewart calls O’Reilly’s electoral plan “Chutes and Ladders.”

When asked how he would change U.S. democracy, O'Reilly pitched a plan he described as a “more participatory democracy,” in which only those who had voted in the previous election could vote in the next one.

“If you sat it out one time, then you’d miss a round,” O’Reilly said.

“Yeah, let’s do it like a game of Chutes and Ladders,” Stewart said, mockingly.

O’Reilly explained he simply wanted people to become “more involved.”

“Fifty percent of people know nothing,” about government O’Reilly said. “'The Jersey Shore' people ... the 'Colbert (Report)' watchers.”

Stewart rejoined: “Yeah, not everyone’s as bright as a Fox viewer."

STORY: Obama flying to LA to reassure Hollywood donors

7. Stewart picks O’Reilly’s “silliest” statement of the evening.

While sparring over whether government should run the healthcare system, O’Reilly said one need look no further than Great Britain for why government run healthcare doesn’t work. “In Britain, everyone’s teeth have fallen out,” he joked.

O’Reilly argued government was good at running things such as the military and the tax system, because it had a “tradition” of doing so -- while it had no such tradition with healthcare.

“That may be the silliest thing you've said all night,” Stewart said, before arguing government could make healthcare part of a proud tradition, just as the military is.

8. Stewart sits on O’Reilly’s lap.

Stewart and O’Reilly were asked how it was possible two opposing personalities such as themselves could sit down to hash out ideas, yet Congress could not do the same. Did they have any advice for the divided Congress?

Stewart climbed onto O’Reilly’s lap, and the men sat there uncomfortably for several moments.

“And what would you like for Christmas, little boy?” O’Reilly asked, before throwing Stewart off. (They moved on without answering the question.)

PHOTOS: 20 biggest political players in Hollywood

9. O’Reilly reveals why he could never host "The Daily Show."

Asked if they could switch jobs for a week, O’Reilly said  “Are you kidding? I’d have to work in the same building as Colbert?”

Stewart said visiting the Fox News building was fun, because the Eye of Sauron was on top of it. He also noted Fox employees resembled the slave children from "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom."

“The only way I’d do it is if someone kicked me hard in the nuts,” Stewart concluded.

10. Stewart and O’Reilly show each other some love.

So ... what do the two men admire about each other? Stewart joked O’Reilly “coordinates a mean outfit," He then got serious, adding “Bill comes by his principles honestly. He’s a smart guy. He’s a funny guy ... this idea that disagreeing with somebody ... means you should not engage them is ridiculous.” 

PHOTOS: 10 Hollywood players that will make a difference in the 2012 elections

O’Reilly kept it short, joking he admired a man who could complete rehab six times and still become as successful as Stewart.

He added “Stewart tomorrow is going to visit the wounded troops.”

O’Reilly let that sink in with the crowd, which responded with big applause.

Related content:

• Jon Stewart, Bill O'Reilly pair up for online political debate
• Kirsten Gillibrand and Jon Stewart discuss women's merits, light bulb changing skills
• 'Daily Show' launches convention coverage with 'charisma boy' Marco Rubio

Getty Images

Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly.

Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart and Fox News Channel’s Bill O’Reilly will debate each other about political issues during a live event to be streamed over the Internet.

O’Reilly announced the event on his show, "The O’Reilly Factor," on Monday night.

PHOTOS: THR's 35 most powerful people in media

“The format is exactly like the presidential debates, without all the phoniness and pomposity,” O’Reilly said.

The debate is dubbed “The Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Auditorium” and is set for Oct. 6 at George Washington University in Washington. Tickets for the live show are $4.95 apiece, and half the profits are earmarked for charities.

O’Reilly called the event a win-win situation.

“You win because we kept the price very low and it will be a fun evening,” O’Reilly said during his Monday show. “The nation wins because there will be plenty of no-spin analysis about serious issues. Stewart wins because he finally makes the big time, and I win because I can make fun of Stewart.”

VIDEO: Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly face off over shrimp

The pair are seen trash-talking each other at the website TheRumble2012.com, which is also where they are telling their fans to go to sign up for the online stream.

One video says of the event, “It’s why Al Gore invented the Internet.”

In another video, Stewart likens the debate to Thunderdome, except that “two men enter and both leave, but probably not together.”

O’Reilly promises a “train wreck” in another video.

PHOTOS: THR celebrates the 35 most powerful people in media at New York City party

“It will be a night to remember,” says O’Reilly. “At least for Stewart and his 18 writers.”

Related content:

• Kirsten Gillibrand and Jon Stewart discuss women's merits, light bulb changing skills
• 'Daily Show' launches convention coverage with 'charisma boy' Marco Rubio

More in NBC News Entertainment:

• Photos reveal new 'RoboCop' costume
• Brian Wilson recovering from back surgery
• 'Resident Evil' shows zombies rule at the box office

If the “Daily Show” audience is any indication, women are definitely ready to play a key role in deciding the 2012 presidential election. On Wednesday night, gender politics even trumped the crowd’s love for Jon Stewart.

Stewart had New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand to talk politics. The Democrat is not one for idle chitchat, and the initial banter between the two was excruciating to watch. But if there’s one issue that she can talk about for hours, it’s the Democrats efforts at winning women voters, and Gillibrand’s talking points were delivered with beating-the-audience-over-the-head-with-it intensity.

“I think women’s voices are going to be unbelievably important in this election, and I hope every woman watching will vote!” Gillibrand said. “Women are fundamentally engaged in this election not just because of reproductive rights, but because of economic issues -- equal pay for equal work; access to capital for small business.”

And....

“If we had 51% of women in Congress, do you think we’d be debating birth control? We’d be debating everything else that really matters. We need more women in Congress.”

And....

“Women are often good at building bipartisan consensus. We’re good listeners. We bring people together.”

To the latter point, Stewart noted “Hey, somebody’s gotta change the light bulbs.”

And the audience groaned.

“Wait a minute, she just (expletive) on men being able to form a consensus and compromise, and I make a joke about ‘at least we can change a light bulb’ and you’re like ‘that’s sexist.’”

Yup. Tough crowd.

Colbert: Democrats’ joy ‘unprofessional’

Of course, for a superficially hostile take on the Dems, there’s only one place to go in late-night television: “The Colbert Report.” And host Steven Colbert delivered with a diatribe against the volume and enthusiasm of the Democratic delegates.

“You could barely hear the speeches! They didn’t have that problem at the Republican convention, I’ll tell you,” Colbert said.

“They seemed unable to mute their joy. And I’m sorry, that volume of pleasure is just unprofessional. I mean the Fox News people could barely hear themselves saying 'it sucked.'”

Colbert’s guest was Michael Grunwald, the Time Magazine senior national correspondent and author of “The New New Deal,” a glowing look President Obama’s stimulus bill and its positive long-term effects. Economic discussion isn’t a recipe for compelling television, but their back-and-forth had its moments.

“Adding 150,000 jobs a month is a lot better than losing 800,000 jobs a month. It really was a new New Deal,” Grunwald said.

“Do you get a check directly from Obama, or does the Democratic Party pay you to say these things?” Colbert responded.

Related content:

• 'Daily Show' launches convention coverage with 'charisma boy' Marco Rubio
• Dennis Miller to Jay Leno: I'd have canceled the Republican convention
• Michelle Obama has candid chat with Jon Stewart
• Conventions are here ... but where are celebs?

Ron Paul didn't get a chance to speak at the Republican National Convention, but he got the next best thing ... a spot on “The Tonight Show” couch.

Paul was shut out from the main stage in Tampa, and he had to wait for Jay Leno to finish his two-part conversation with Kevin Hart to have his say on Tuesday, but he got enough time to please his supporters -- especially one guy in the back who tried to start a “President Paul!” chant.

It’s safe to say that the Paul and Mitt Romney camps won’t be swapping holiday cards. The best that can be said of Paul’s comments towards the Republican nominee was that they weren’t overtly hostile.

Paul on Romney’s speech: “It was nice. He said a lot of nice things. It was very pleasant and all, but it wasn’t the speech that I would give.”

Paul on who he’ll vote for in November: “No clue. No clue. I’ll keep plugging along.”

So much for Republican Party unity post-convention.

On the positive side for the GOP, he did make it sound very unlikely that he’d run as a third party candidate, though Leno channeled his inner political cheerleader and did his best to talk him into it. 

“Democracy isn’t all that healthy because if you’re in a third party, you don’t get into the debates,” Paul said. “Had I tried to do what I’ve done in the past few years in a third party, I probably wouldn’t have gotten on your show.”

True enough. But even doing it within the two-party system he didn’t get to speak in Tampa, so it’s all relative.

Paul had nicer things to say about the Clint Eastwood skit. Of course, when Eastwood criticized Obama’s empty chair for not bringing the troops home, he was cheered. That was far from Paul’s experience.

“Did you ever hear of a presidential candidate being booed? I’ve been booed because I want to bring the troops home,” Paul said, recalling his treatment by the audience at the Republican debates. “I said, ‘We just marched in. We can just march out.'”

"The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" also began their convention coverage. For Jon Stewart, one of the issues was the Democrats trying to answer the “Are you better off than you were four years ago” with some nuanced variation of “Americans understand....”

“Here’s what the American people understand: Getting a free sandwich is a good reason to buy 10 other sandwiches. Here’s what the American people understand: Angels are real.”

In other words, the answer to the “Are you better off” question is always "Yes!”

Stewart also noted that Chuck Norris has joined the Mitt Romney bandwagon, proclaiming that this election pits the last best hope to same our nation against the start of a thousand-year descent into the abyss. Guest Tom Brokaw didn’t seem fazed.

“I’m a little worried about Chuck Norris, but I’m waiting to hear what Dog the Bounty Hunter has to say,” Brokaw said.

Odds are good he’ll find out soon enough.

Related content:

• 'Daily Show' launches convention coverage with 'charisma boy' Marco Rubio
• Dennis Miller to Jay Leno: I'd have canceled the Republican convention
• Michelle Obama has candid chat with Jon Stewart
• Conventions are here ... but where are celebs?

Reuters file

Clint Eastwood's discussion with an empty chair thrilled late-night talk-show hosts.

Clint Eastwood is a Hollywood legend, but not all of his movies were smash hits. He’s no stranger to getting poor reviews.

But he may never have received worse reviews than the ones he’s hearing from late-night talk-show hosts after his performance at the Republican National Convention on Thursday night, where he spent quality time on national television in spirited debate with a figment of his imagination.

“Amidst the tired rhetoric, empty platitudes and overwrought attacks, a fistful of awesome emerged in the night … where it spent 12 minutes on the most important night of Mitt Romney’s life yelling at a chair,” Jon Stewart said on “The Daily Show.”

Much to the Romney campaign’s dismay (and to Sen. Marco Rubio, who might have otherwise earned headlines for his introduction of the nominee), Eastwood’s argument with an invisible man was the story of the day.

“I don’t care how many Marco Rubios you put in between Clint Eastwood and Mitt Romney, Romney ain’t outshining this playlet I call The Old Man and the Seat,” Stewart said.

And to the “Daily Show” host, it explained a lot.

“We owe Clint Eastwood a debt of thanks, not only because it was a truly hilarious 12 minutes of improvised awesome in a week of scripted blah, but because it advanced our understanding,” Stewart said. “This president has issues, and there are very legitimate debates to be had about his policy and actions and successes and/or failures -– I mean, tune in next week –- but I could never wrap my head as to why the world and the president that Republicans describe bears so little resemblance to the world and experience that I experience.

“And now I know why. There is a President Obama that only Republicans can see.” 

Steven Colbert went so far as to bring on a chair of his own to debate on the “Colbert Report.” This invisible foe was more convincing than the one Eastwood debated, as it had the house spouting Democratic slogans by the time the skit ended. So at least he showed the RNC that it could have been worse.

Colbert also had to go back in time for something comparable, arguing “there has not been a political speech this powerful since the famous Lincoln-Bookshelf debates.” And he and guest James Carville differed on the impact the convention would have on the polls, with Carville predicting a 2-3 point increase.

“The Romney people are privately predicting 11,” Colbert said

“The Romney people put Clint Eastwood out there,” Carville replied.

Jay Leno was no kinder.

“Wasn’t that bizarre? The only time I ever talked to an empty chair is when we had Paris Hilton on the show,” he said on his “Tonight Show” monologue.

Leno also speculated, “Clint Eastwood said he got the idea earlier in the day when he saw John McCain talking to an empty chaise lounge at the hotel pool.” But McCain’s running mate looked better by comparison.

“Be honest. After watching Clint Eastwood last night, Sarah Palin isn’t looking so bad, is she?” Leno said.

Related content:

• Hollywood reacts to Clint's chair chat
• Eastwood surprises GOP convention - maybe in more ways than one
• He made the web's day -- zany Clint goes viral
• Clint Eastwood slideshow
• GOP convention: Go ahead -- make our day
• Colbert, Stewart talk politics, conventions with Republican outcasts
• Clint Eastwood backs Mitt Romney for president

If you were a former Republican leader on the outs with the current establishment, odds were that you were a guest on Comedy Central on Thursday.

"The Daily Show's" Jon Stewart talked with Michael Steele, the former head of the Republican National Committee who wasn’t even credentialed for this year’s event, and covered a laugh with a well-timed cough when Stewart skewered current RNC chair Reince Priebus (“No love lost,” Stewart noted).

Meanwhile, Steven Colbert brought ex-Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman, who supports relative Mitt Romney but didn’t sound enthused about the rest of the GOP, on "The Colbert Report."

Stewart spent much of Thursday’s “Daily Show” despairing about the lack of specifics and proliferation of misinformation in Paul Ryan’s Wednesday speech.

“You’re the policy expert! What a disappointment!” Stewart said, likening it to a concert where the feature performer elected not to sing. “‘Ladies and gentlemen, Aretha Franklin is going to come out and knit for you!’ I mean, come on!”

He later turned to Steele and asked if Ryan’s lack of specificity and willingness to stretch the bounds of facts and context to the breaking point was because of pressure from Romney and the RNC.

“It’s like the Borg,” Steele responded. “Resistance is futile.”

But he also noted: “What these conventions are -- they’re largely infomercials, They’re not to get into the nuts and bolts and substance of the argument. That’s what the next 6 to 7 weeks are going to be about.”

Who needs truthiness?

 As is so often the case, the questions that Stewart asks on “The Daily Show” are answered, in his own special way, by Steven Colbert in the next half-hour.

Want to know why Ryan might have played it a little loose with the facts? Just think of what happens in sports.

“May I remind everyone out there this is the Presidential race. And to win a race, sometimes you need to juice,” Colbert said. “Ryan stretching the truth to make his speech more effective is just another form of doping -- in that if you believe him, you’re a dope.”

But at least Colbert makes a pretense of being a Republican and caring about the Party, even if it’s all just shtick. Though Huntsman ran for President under the GOP banner, he clearly sees himself as a member of the Republican Party as he would like it to be, rather than the one he thinks it really is.

“When you say, ‘what is the Republican Party today?’ I think in some sense it’s a holding company for fundraising and doing a convention every four years. And I say, it’s got to be more,” Huntsman said. “It’s got to have a heart and soul. It’s got to have a vision for this country. It’s got to have solutions.”

Some might say that kind of vision is what the convention is for. But not only was Huntsman not at the three-day event, he wasn’t even in Florida.

“I asked what they’d like me to do, and they said they’d like me to be a surrogate speaker in New Orleans this week,” he said. “I thought, ‘Are they trying to send me a signal or what?’”

Of course, not everything he said was pleasing to Colbert’s ears. When asked to explain why he didn’t attend the convention, he said, “(I’ll attend) when the Republican Party, the Party of Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt, General Eisenhower and Ronald Reagan, when they decide to become a little more inclusive and broaden the footprint a little bit ... with a larger optimistic, hopeful message about the future of this country based on real solutions.”

Then, he added,  “and beyond that, I hate Super PACS.”

Colbert, of course, has his “Making a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow.” But his audience cheered anyway.

“I have rarely seen my audience applaud abominations,” Colbert said.

Related content:

• 'Daily Show' launches convention coverage with 'charisma boy' Marco Rubio
• Dennis Miller to Jay Leno: I'd have canceled the Republican convention
• Michelle Obama has candid chat with Jon Stewart
• Conventions are here ... but where are celebs?

Comedy Central

First Lady Michelle Obama visited "The Daily Show" Tuesday night.

Michelle Obama stopped by "The Daily Show" Tuesday night, not only to promote her new book on gardening and eating right, but to chat candidly with Jon Stewart about everything from her husband’s college years to how much she loves Vice President Joe Biden.

Amidst all the jokes about making our children eat their vegetables, Stewart asked a few questions about the Obamas as a couple, especially about how they met.

After all the media reports of President Barack Obama’s wily college years, Stewart asked the first lady about what he was like when she met the guy that would later become president.

“I think when he lost his father that was one of those click-in moments,” she said, “I think he transferred schools, went to Columbia and that's when he got really serious about thinking about how would he use his life to the fullest.”

They even got into the would-be elephant in the room between the happy couple -- the fact that the first lady has a higher approval rating than her husband. “In just marital relationships, in just arguing… how do you not use that (against him)?” Stewart laughed.

But Obama said, "I don't wield it over him." After all, she’s seen first-hand what it takes to be a president -- and her husband gets all of the hard judgment calls.

“And is it hard to raise a kid around Biden?” Stewart laughed, referring to how loose the vice president has been known to be with his language at times. “He's the uncle that comes over and you're like 'oh you brought them guns'”

Mrs. Obama laughed, but maintains that she loves “uncle” Joe Biden. “No, he's a great vice-president and a great friend. My kids hang around him, and I'm good with it. “

Meanwhile on "The Colbert Report," Stephen Colbert would like the world to know that he is much prettier than we all are.

The late-night host, who has been absent from his usual time slot for the past two weeks (and as a result couldn’t brag in real-time), came back and delivered the news that matters most to the average American: The segment called "Who’s Honoring Me Now?" -- "me" being him.

Colbert began humbly with his acceptance of his second Peabody Award for broadcast excellence, but it paled in comparison to the real honor. He is now one of the hottest women in the world.

“I am the first man to make Maxim’s Hottest Women in the World,” he boasted. “Finally these child-bearing hips are paying off! … I am the Rosa Parks of men that Maxim wants to see back up that bus.” 

According to Maxim’s list Colbert is hotter than Nicki Minaj, Sofia Vergara, and he’s even hotter than the 3.3 billion other women in the  world.  But we shouldn’t feel bad, he said, because this is proof that women don’t need to be busty or skinny to be hot. We should all just aspire to look as good as Stephen Colbert.

Related content:

• Colbert, Stewart cheer and jeer Obama's gay marriage announcement
• Rick Santorum visits Jay Leno, brings extra sweater vest
• Jon Stewart and Jimmy Kimmel refuse to suspend Newt Gingrich gags

Accustomed to being in the driver's seat on the Awkward Express that is his ongoing Funny or Die web series "Between Two Ferns," Zach Galifianakis met his match in the sharp wit of Jon Stewart and Tina Fey.

The actor and comedian's faux-talk show, which aired ahead of Sunday night's Comedy Awards on Comedy Central, saw Galifianakis conduct interviews with both the "Daily Show" and "30 Rock" star. Two clips from the episode made it online, and the Emmy-winners showed no mercy. 

STORY: Zach Galifianakis, Will Ferrell Skewer Political Ads in The Campaign Trailer

Stewart mocked Galifianakis's acting talent -- yes, he was in the hit "Hangover" movies, he said, but Stewart insists the success was all about the film's signature tag-along baby and monkey. Fey is even harsher, deconstructing the entire affair.

"There is a level of malice to your whole behavior and questioning style, while kind of humorous, is actually very cowardly," she charged. "It's almost like you're being willfully obtuse in these questions to make some kind of vague point of the fatuous nature of celebrity interviews, which is a pretty well-trod observation. Yes, we all agree, celebrity interviews are vacant and empty, but at the same time, you asked me to come here."

Don't think too hard about it: Given that this was all actually a scripted comedy routine, your head may explode.

Related content:

• 'SNL' cooks up laughs with jab at 'tanning mom'
• Video: 'The Dictator' describes 'tragic' rise to power
• 'Friends' reunion? Won't happen, says Kudrow

NBC

President Obama may have gotten a little ‘too cool for school’ when he opted to slow jam the news with Jimmy Fallon on Tuesday.

Appearing for the first time on “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon,” at a taping on the University of North Carolina campus, the “Preezy of the United Steezy” had some fun with the talk show host, while also discussing his goals for reducing interest rates on student loans. It was his bluesy, R&B mock of the headlines, however, that had many political commentators calling foul, with both conservatives and liberals claiming his move was “undignified,” or, at the very least, unnecessary.

“If Romney is this year’s Reagan, Obama is this year’s Clinton,” said “Daily Show” host Jon Stewart on his Wednesday report. “Mr. President, you’re the president. You don’t have to do this s*** anymore.”

Fox News' Gretchen Carlson was more blunt. "I personally do not agree with the highest office of the land, the most important figure in the world going on these comedy shows. I think it lowers the status of the office."

When asked by her co-host if she thought Obama’s idea was an effective way to appeal to young votes, Carlson replied, “I don't care…I think it's nutso."

And there was Rush Limbaugh, who felt the satire was more comparable to Richard Nixon’s appearance on “Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In” in 1968.

“Remember that show? And everybody thought that it was a descent into no dignity whatsoever. So beneath the presidency, so beneath the office of the presidency,” Limbaugh said on his radio program Wednesday. “He's just trying to show that he's hip. But people under 30 live in the Obama economy, too, and Obama can't lower the voting age. Can't do that. He can't do away with the draft. He can't give them amnesty. None of that's relevant or going on now. So he has to resort to going on shows like Jimmy Fallon and promising to pay for everybody's college tuition.”

As all have pointed out, nevertheless, Obama was aiming for the younger demographic when he went on the show, a group that supported him in 2008 and who could play a significant part in this year’s election.

Furthermore, his opponent, Mitt Romney, has also done a stint for the variety circuit.

On his Thursday edition of “The Colbert Report, host Stephen Colbert compared Obama’s comedic turn to Mitt Romney’s appearance on the “Late Show with David Letterman” in December.

“Now if Obama must go on these shows, he should do it like Romney did on Letterman,” remarked Colbert then cutting to a clip from Letterman’s Top Ten list, where the Republican politician chirped, “What’s up gangta? It’s the M-I-double tizzle.”

Commented Colbert, “That’s the kind of gravitas we want… Clearly, Mitt is down with the homies.”

Did you think Obama's appearance on Fallon was funny and effective or inappropriate and unpresidential? Tell us what you think on Facebook.

Related content:

• Obama 'slow jams' the news with Jimmy Fallon
• Video: Conservatives bash president's 'slow jam'
• Video: RNC ad compares Romney and Obama

Comedy Central

Jon Stewart wonders who, if anyone, will agree to be Mitt Romney's running mate.

It appears no one actually wants to be Mitt Romney’s vice presidential running mate. At least that’s the case Jon Stewart made on "The Daily Show" Monday night.

"Attention moves now to who will complete the bumper sticker that will soon be plastered on America's gun racks, over the fading McCain/Palin bumper sticker," Stewart said before pointing out a lack of willing contenders.

Maybe it isn’t as severe as Stewart makes it sound, but it does seem a little odd that Florida Senator Marco Rubio, Ohio senator Rob Portman and former Florida governor Jeb Bush all played hot potato with the suggestion that each of them should take one for the team and accept the vice presidential role.

"Why does being Romney's vice president now seem like a dare nobody wants to take?" Stewart wondered. "Doesn’t anybody want the rock in crunch time?!"

Yes. In fact, Herman Cain does. "I would say ‘let’s talk’" the former GOP presidential hopeful said when asked about the possibility of hopping on the Romney ticket.

And that’s not all he had to say. Cain sat down with "Daily Show" correspondent John Oliver in an interview at Pace University to reminisce on the high and lows of his time on the trail. And further displaying how much we miss his campaign antics, Cain even explained his choice of the words -- "shucky ducky" -- on that fateful day of his bid announcement. Then, somehow, he ended up talking about aliens.

Related content:

• Jon Stewart pokes fun at lackluster Mitt Romney endorsements
• Colbert unveils do-it-yourself Super PAC kit
• Jon Stewart: With Santorum's creepy ad, who needs 'Hunger Games?'
• Michelle Obama dishes with David Letterman about secret Target visit