Listen up, America. If there’s anyone out there that can teach a thing or two about running a successful Super PAC, it’s Stephen Colbert. Not only is the host of “Colbert Report” currently spearheading a successful PAC movement by generating interest in the organizations through his infamous “Super Fun PAC,” according to congressional website TheHill.com, Colbert is also generating more Super PAC buzz than some of the current GOP candidates. Not to mention, the endless quips have kept the show nothing short of entertaining.

Remember the Super PAC kidnapping fiasco between Colbert and  “Daily Show” host Jon Stewart a while ago? After that debacle it’s no wonder that the interest in the matter hasn’t quelled. Considering his influence, as Colbert explains, it also comes as no surprise that a student from the University of Texas wrote a letter detailing his “overwhelming urge” to start a Colbert Super PAC organization at his school. And so, the extension of Colbert’s political tentacles begins!

Colbert dubs the new organization at the University of Texas “Texans for A Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow” and he doesn’t stop there. His generosity  extends to every college in America so they can have their own Colbert PAC.  In his infomercial voice he explains: If you have a burning desire for civil engagement (and $99 to spare), then you can have the Colbert Super PAC “Super Fun Pack” -- a do-it-yourself guide to creating your own Super PAC.

In it you’ll find all the necessary legal documents to create one…which is really just one sheet from the Federal Election Commission. Getting the guide from the PAC, as opposed to free online – Colbert explains – would spare you from the awkwardness of having loved ones see the FEC come up in your browser history.  Also included in the nifty pack, is a hand drawn instruction manual, an Allen wrench, a “Turtles don’t like peanut butter” t-shirt, a sign that reads “If the Super PAC is caucusing, don’t bother knockusing!” a pair of Colbert Super PAC tube socks, and to top it all off ... a Forbes list of 400 richest Americans for your donations.

And just think -- all those goodies for a mere $99!

• Colbert refuses to eat his 'Baroccoli'
• Stewart compares Santorum ad to 'Hunger Games'

Stephen Colbert isn’t hiding his excitement about the possible strike down of President Obama’s healthcare mandate. In fact, the “Colbert Report” host is thrilled at the possibility of the Supreme Court repealing Obamacare – a strong sentiment echoed by the Republican Party.

“You lose Mr. President!” Colbert exclaimed, “Take Obamacare and stick it where the sun don’t shine! Then have it removed by a doctor that you have to pay yourself because he’s not in network.” Over the past three days, the Supreme Court has posed challenging, critical questions to the Obama administration about its massive bill, and Colbert was glad to see the administration struggle to present its case.

“It was a train wreck that slammed into the Hindenburg, landed on the deck of the Titanic, and then sailed it to see John Carter,” Colbert said. That last reference alluding to the recent catastrophic flop at the box-office.

This mandate isn’t the good kind of “man date,” he goes on to explain, where two buddies play racquetball together and recharge with a couple of burgers, brews and absolutely no sexual tension… instead this mandate requires that all Americans buy health insurance.

And if the administration can force us all to buy health insurance, then it can certainly force us to eat broccoli – Colbert explains. By his logic, the country is in dire straits because if we don’t fight this evil mandate now, it could lead to more outrageous demands. “They’re going to make us eat other vegetables … including lima beans!” Colbert exclaims, “Take naps when we’re not tired, and kiss our grandmothers even though she smells like old Tupperware!”

And he’s simply not going to do it. Colbert refuses to have his health care decisions made by “Baroccoli Obama.”

Related content:

• Stewart compares Santorum ad to 'Hunger Games'
• Colbert toys with Romney aide's gaffe

Comedy Central

He may have just come back to "The Colbert Report" after a little vacation, but Stephen Colbert isn't finished playing with his toys. Especially his Etch A Sketch, which he noted became wildly popular in his absence, thanks to Eric Fehrnstrom.

The Mitt Romney aide noted in an interview that after the nomination, the whole election process gets shaken up and zeroed out like an Etch A Sketch. The media, and Romney's fellow campaigners, went wild.

Suddenly, noted Colbert, all of the Republican presidential candidates were wielding thetoy, which was originally placed on the market in 1960. As Rick Santorum noted, "My public policy isn't written on an Etch A Sketch. It's written on my heart.

Aww. The problem, said Colbert, is that "the only way to read what's written on Rick Santorum's heart is with a trans-vaginal ultrasound."

But for all of the waving around of toys, everyone knew what Fehrnstrom really meant, said Colbert. "He’s just saying that a candidate will say anything to get the nomination, then say anything to get elected, then say anything to get a second term, then stand on principle. For six months, until he’s a lame duck. You know, courage!”

And in the end, the Etch A Sketch comment has done one thing Romney has been promising: It has boosted business and brought back the economy ... at the Etch A Sketch factory, where sales of the toy are apparently booming.

Santorum was the subject of discussion over at "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" But the host was pointing to something a little less child-friendly in relation to the candidate: His newly-revealed potty-mouth.

After a recent speech in which Santorum noted that Mitt Romney was the worst Republican in the country to put up against President Obama, a reporter asked him about it -- and an uncharacteristically feisty, slightly sweaty Santorum bit back: "Will you guys quit distorting what I say? ... If I see it, it's bull----. Come on, man. What are you doing?"

Kimmel joked, "Juice makes him grumpy," then brought on Santorum's "brother," L. Brent, who defended his sibling: "The lamestream media loves a good story, even when that story is a fairytale," he said. "My brother has not and would not ever use profanity. It's against the Holy Bible and the Santorum family code."

So what did L. Brent actually think his "brother" said?

Check out the video above to find out.

Related content:

• Michelle Obama dishes with David Letterman about secret Target visit
• Jimmy Kimmel enlists celebrities to read their negative tweets
• Colbert takes Santorum's advice, consults a plant
• Jimmy Kimmel's movie trailer chock-full of stars, surreal hilarity
• 'Casa de mi Padre' humor gets lost in translation

Comedy Central

There's a new investigative political analyst over at "The Colbert Report": Kermit the Frog. The most famous felt amphibian in the world initially insisted he didn't know much about politics on Wednesday night, but that didn't stop Colbert from naming him "Chief Swampland Political Analyst." And despite his humble comments, Kermit (who as Colbert reminded viewers was a veteran reporter for "Sesame Street") leaped right into the political fray, weighing in on the current GOP standings.

"Newt? Oh, Newt!" he began. "Kermit the Frog must know all about newts because I'm an amphibian-American? Do we all look alike to you? ... The fact is, Stephen, that this race is far from over. You know, we haven't even hit Romney's strongholds of New York and California yet. And the closer Mitt gets to that magical number of 1144 delegates, well, the more leverage he has at a hypothetical brokered convention. However! However, you know, if rumors of a Santorum/Gingrich superticket prove true, well, we're in for a hot time in Tampa. How's that?"

Oh, and as Kermit also wanted to make sure everyone knew, "The Muppets: 3D" is available on DVD/Blu-ray on March 20th.

But that wasn't it for Colbert Wednesday night; he also took issue with the outcome of Tuesday night's primaries. He said he was particularly excited about how the race could end up looking like the contest between President Obama and Hillary Clinton last last time around. "Minus any women or black people," he added. "Or magic." He also took a jab at Rick Santorum for his suggestion that reading from a teleprompter is somehow unfit for a president -- and should be illegal. "But we cannot stop at teleprompters," said Colbert. "I reject all pre-written words; that's why I'm against reading books. Books are alive. When I read the words it makes thought sounds in my head like I'm thinking them."

"The Daily Show's" Jon Stewart also did a little rehashing of the winners in Tuesday night's primaries, noting that there's an easy mnemonic device one can use to remember them: "Places you can get to in a Winnebago go to Santorum; places that require a jet or a yacht go to Romney."

What that meant is that Newt Gingrich was left in the cold with no wins, and Stewart was stunned that the candidate acted as if he had won. Stewart came up with a new phrase for the Gingrich campaign: "Newt 2012: You'll see, you'll all see." Gingrich began talking about how his delegates, mixed with Santorum's, would bring two-thirds of the needed delegates, while the "so-called front runner" would have less than one-third. Stewart noted that this doesn't wash -- "You don't get to add Santorum's stuff to yours to make it sound impressive.... That's not your total!"

Elsewhere in late night, the focus was still on making fun of Mitt Romney's financial status. Jay Leno of "The Tonight Show," noted: "President Obama announced his Final Four: They are Kentucky, Ohio State, Missouri and North Carolina. And Mitt Romney announced his Final Four: Goldman Sachs, Wells Fargo, Exxon and The Cayman Islands."

And "Late Show's" David Letterman came up with a new Romney-themed Top 10 list; this time, "Top 10 Other Phrases Never Before Said by Mitt Romney." No. 6: "Let's scour Craigslist for some free couches!" and No. 4: "We can't lay people off, it's not Christmas!" Letterman also returned to the story about Romney's dog tied to the roof of his car with No. 3: "I think the dog would be more comfortable in the car."

Later on, he got guest Martin Short to sing a song for Mitt Romney. Short admitted he and Paul Shaffer had been paid to endorse Romney, then launched into a version of "It's Raining Mitt" (instead of "It's Raining Men"), with the help of three backup singers and multiple Romney cutouts.

Sang Short: "It's raining Mitt, no s---!"

Related content:

• Miss Piggy will go 'Dancing with the Stars' if....
• Is Courtney Love starting a war with The Muppets?
• Stephen Colbert takes Rick Santorum's advice, consults a plant
• Bill Maher pledges $1 million to Obama's Super PAC

Comedy Central

Let this be a lesson to you, Rick Santorum: Never suggest a person should actually converse with a plant. For one thing, it just makes the plant nervous; for another ... well, it gets the late-night comedians in a ficus frenzy.

At least, that's what it seemed like on both "The Colbert Report" and "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" Tuesday night, as the hosts leapt on the odd comments the presidential candidate made recently about plants and carbon dioxide.

“The dangers of carbon dioxide ..." Santorum mused before an audience. "Tell that to a plant, how dangerous carbon dioxide is.”

So Colbert brought out his houseplant "Robert," which was sporting a tiny Obama 2012 sign in its pot. He harangued it for clearly supporting policies (Obama's) that were contrary to its interest, ending with, "Stupid, stupid plant."

Kimmel, on the other hand, actually got feedback from his plant, which was part of the set decoration. A puppet-plant-flower popped up to provide commentary.

"Is carbon dioxide dangerous?" asked Kimmel.

“Well, yes, Jimmy, it is," the plant replied. "While plants like me do absorb carbon dioxide, we can’t possibly absorb enough to counteract the huge amount of carbon that human beings pour into the atmosphere.”

Then followed a brief animated demonstration of the greenhouse effect. It wasn't gut-busting funny, but it seemed more informed than the candidate's stance.

"Thank you, plant, I'm glad I asked that," said Kimmel, preparing to leave.

"No problem," said the plant. "And hey, could you tell your cousin to stop peeing on me?"

Meanwhile, Colbert had more to say about plants and energy, using Newt Gingrich's sarcastic commentary on algae as a possible alternative fuel. Said Gingrich, "I think this summer, as gas prices go up, one of our campaign techniques should be to have people go to gas stations with a jar of algae and say to people, 'Would you rather have the Gingrich solution of drilling and having more oil, or would you like to put this in your gas tank?' ...  You can’t make this stuff up.”

"But Newt can," rejoined Colbert, "because Exxon has committed $600 million to developing this (algae-as-fuel) technology." But Colbert understood where Gingrich was coming from, since algae could never manage to power the spaceships that will ultimately take humans -- or rather, Americans -- to his planned moon colony.

There was some non-plant-related political comedy from "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," wherein Leno poked fun at Mitt Romney, alleging that on his recent trip south, Romney was asked if he'd ever been to the banks of the Mississippi and replied: "No, do they have a better rate than the Cayman Islands?"

What do you think about the way the hosts took on the candidates' oversimplifications? Plant one on us over at Facebook.

Related content:

• Jon Stewart riffs on Mitt Romney's tone-deaf, 'Southern-fried' strategy
• Cain's fishy attack ad inspires Stephen Colbert to go avant-garde
• Bill Maher pledges $1 million to Obama's Super PAC

Comedy Central

Last night on the Comedy Central late night shows, both Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert were thoroughly unimpressed with GOP front-runner Mitt Romney’s attempts to woo Southern voters.

On "The Daily Show," Stewart took a jab at Romney’s "Southern-fried pandering," the name he gave to the candidates' attempts at relating to voters down there. His campaign strategies in the Deep South could seem a little tone-deaf: Things like greeting them with “Morning, y’all!” and talking about biscuits and cheesy grits had Stewart in a face-palm of embarrassment. 

"You're a guy that looks like you just stepped off the Monopoly board," Stewart addressed Romney. "You really think you're going to appeal to Southerners by finding reference with them on the issues that matter most to them -- their accent and choosing the right breakfast starch?"

Everything Romney knows, said Stewart, seemed to come from a Jeff Foxworthy routine. Which somehow made sense when he revealed that the comedian best known for his "You Might Be a Redneck" routine was stumping for Romney in the South. He tried showing a clip of Foxworthy speaking to the hosts of "Fox & Friends," but the feed -- Foxworthy's on Fox, that is -- went out.

So Stewart stepped in by donning a mustache and riffing on Foxworthy's routine: "If you have a car on your front lawn because your garage only holds five cars.... If you go to the diner and order your eggs Faberge.... If you think 'Cloverfield' was a movie about your butler, you might be a Romney!"

On "The Colbert Report," Colbert’s Southern roots (and twang and parasol to protect from the sun) came out a bit as he explained that the GOP "gentlemen callers" have to woo him and his fellow Southerners if they want to win the primaries.

He also made fun of the Foxworthy-Romney connection, and had his own Foxworthy riff to share: "Now, if you're a multimillionaire entertainer supporting the candidacy of a wealthy financier from Massachusetts, you might no longer be a redneck."

Romney's use of "y'all" and speeches about grits might not be enough to make him a redneck, though; Colbert said that "becoming a Southerner is a lot like puberty: Your voice changes" and, well, certain bodily regions "secede from the North."

But Newt Gingrich gets it, Colbert insisted. Gingrich explained he knew the various ways grits are served to an adoring crowd.

"Uh-oh," said Colbert. "Newt has thrown the chitterlings down. But I'm sure Mitt will pick them up because he's not sure chitterlings are hog intestines."

What do you think about the hosts' take on the candidates' southern swing? Share your thoughts on Facebook.

Related content:

• Cain's fishy attack ad inspires Stephen Colbert to go avant-garde
• Stephen Colbert hits 'snooze' on his Countdown to Loving Mitt clock
• Bill Maher pledges $1 million to Obama's Super PAC

For those who thought Herman Cain was out of the presidential race, well, last night on "The Colbert Report," Stephen Colbert proved you wrong. Armed with an attack ad from the Cain Connections Super PAC, Colbert (who considers Cain his "brother from another mother") was happy to share the find with his audience.

PETA members might want to sit down before watching it. Cain's anti-stimulus ad, released a few days ago, features a flopping, gasping goldfish presided over by an unsmiling child mouthing "this is your brain on drugs"-esque lines while standing in a barren wasteland. The goldfish? Well, that's the floundering U.S. economy. The Cain camp posted on its YouTube description a disclaimer that suggests no actual goldfish were harmed in making the film: "The goldfish is fine, but our economy isn't."

In case that was too subtle, the spot ends with a man -- Colbert suggests that it's Cain -- standing on a mountaintop a la "The Lion King" -- and in the background a pig oinks. "Any questions?" the little girl shouts.

"Nope!" said Colbert, who was so inspired by this visual delight that he decided to make an "avant-garde" (as Cain's ad was described in pundit clips) ad of his own, after downing a bottle of Robitussin and punching himself in the temple with a porcelain cow creamer. What ensued was a hilarious parody of Cain’s spot, which Colbert said was about "all of the things we forgot we used to be mad about.”

"Ball's in your court, Herman Cain!" he cried out once it was over.

What do you think about the PAC ads? Share your thoughts on Facebook.

Related content:

• Stephen Colbert hits 'snooze' on his Countdown to Loving Mitt clock
• Stephen Colbert throws a Super Tuesday tailgate party
• Brian Williams and Jimmy Fallon get super freaky about Super PACs
• Bill Maher pledges $1 million to Obama's Super PAC
• Colbert suspends Cain campaign, but Stewart keeps Super PAC

Comedy Central

There may be many people who considered Super Tuesday worthy of its superlative, but don't count Stephen Colbert or Jon Stewart among them. On Wednesday, both "The Colbert Report" and "The Daily Show" hosts tore into the idea that the big vote-a-thon had any role in decisively picking the front-runner for the 2012 Republican ticket.

Colbert called it a "a big, sweaty pile of lever-yankin' Republican voters." And for those who find that characterization disrespectful, he explained: "like most orgies, it involves a bunch of middle-aged guys who are not appealing to women."

Colbert also checked in on his "Countdown to Loving Mitt" clock and realized to his horror that there were just two minutes or so left for him to figure out how to love the likely Republican nominee, so he had to scramble. Hoping for affirmation from pundits that he could now love Romney without reservation, Colbert turned to clips -- but the pundits said nothing of the kind. Desperate to make time stand still, Colbert tried cutting the clock's wires, but couldn't decide whether to snip the white, off-white or beige ones. "For some reason, none of these wires are exciting me," he said.

But Colbert prevailed by smacking the "snooze" button on his clock, giving himself four more days to learn to love Mitt. The thing is, as he points out, if no one can really com-Mitt to the candidate, Republicans could have an open convention in which anyone could be nominated. A clip from Sarah Palin indicated she wouldn't "close any doors" to being selected herself. That means it could literally be anyone running against President Obama -- including a baby sloth clothed in pajamas ... or the iPad 3.

Stewart, on the other hand, focused on the long, long, long race to Tampa by introducing "Endless Suffrage 2012" to frame his Super Tuesday roundup. This campaign has gone on forever, he said: "Seriously, it is like the Republican nominee for president is being selected at this point by erosion." To him, Super Tuesday wasn't super because it was supposedly -- like Superman -- sent to Earth in a crystal spaceship moments before Krypton exploded -- but because it would produce a decisive nominee.

Clip after clip then followed focusing on how Ohio would make this decision: Whoever won Ohio would get the nomination. Mitt Romney won in Ohio, which allowed Stewart to relax, pulling out a snifter of brandy and a smoking pipe. "Unless...." he warned, cutting to clips of pundits who then said that while Romney won Ohio, he hadn't delivered a knockout punch to his competition. Away went the brandy and pipe.

"(Super Tuesday) was supposed to be decisive -- the shot heard 'round the world," sighed Stewart. "Now it's the shot that was mathematically inconclusive."

Both Colbert and Stewart had one thing in common (other than mocking Super Tuesday in general) -- and that was mercilessly making fun of CNN's "virtual" convention center. The cable news network spent a lot of time and money creating a fake interior of the Tampa Bay Times Forum convention center where the Republican Convention will be held. Colbert put on his own headset, glove and microphone to do a virtual walk-through and discovered he had a tentacle for an arm. Stewart, on the other hand, watched a recreation of how the delegates will conform to the seating arrangements for each candidate, and was impressed by the number of virtual flag-wavers there were for Romney.

"Wow, Mitt Romney is very popular with those artificially-rendered computer people," he said. "I think we may have found his base."

What do you think about Stewart and Colbert's takes on Super Tuesday? Share your thoughts on Facebook.

Related content:

• Stephen Colbert throws a Super Tuesday tailgate party
• Stephen Colbert: Rush Limbaugh is a prostitute
• Brian Williams and Jimmy Fallon get super freaky about Super PACs
• Bill Maher pledges $1 million to Obama's Super PAC

Comedy Central

The Super Tuesday primaries were held yesterday, and "Colbert Report" host Stephen Colbert could barely contain his excitement.

He likened the big political day to the Super Bowl, saying he’s even painting his face the team color -- white (and in his case, that means no paint required). And just as he would with football’s big day, Colbert decided to throw a little tailgate party. He cooked some bratwursts on a fake grill and explained his famous "ten-layer dip," a concoction of ingredients he said represents each state having a primary -- including Idaho potatoes, Virginia ham, Vermont cheese, Alaskan venison and a layer of rust from Ohio.

To get the party started, Colbert added a batch of his famous “Republican salsa,” which was really just a bowl of mayonnaise with a dash of Miracle Whip on top. As for drinks, he whipped up a batch of margaritas. Unfortunately, he couldn't find his blender so he did the mixing with a trans-vaginal ultrasound wand.

"Usually at my parties (the wand) doesn't come out until after the margaritas," he quipped. So with the party plans in place, it was on to the results. Colbert took off his jacket, rolled up his sleeves and noted that the candidates were all seeking one particular voter: the working-class man or woman. He pulled out an actual blue collar from his lunch pail and put it on.

"Just an average working Joe. Hey, fellas, let's head over to the factory plant and foundry us some metal goods. Welding, am I right? You know, some of my best friends own this company," he said parodying a Romney-esque statement.

On to the results, of which there were none -- "Report" taped too early to be able to actually report anything definitive. But Colbert wasn't going to let all of his effort go to waste -- he was going to report on the results of something. So he declared that Vladimir Putin is once again the president of Russia and that the Samajwadi Party has triumphed in the India State Assembly elections.

"The Daily Show" was in the same boat as "Report" in terms of reporting results -- a taping that happens too early to make jokes about the numbers -- but that didn't stop Jon Stewart. Instead, he focused on the one state all of the candidates had something to say about today -- the state of Israel.

"That's right, each candidate took time out today from the biggest primary yet to address the American-Israel Political Action Committee," reported Stewart.

What do you think about Stewart and Colbert's takes on Super Tuesday? Share your thoughts on Facebook.

Related content:

• Stephen Colbert: Rush Limbaugh is a prostitute
• Brian Williams and Jimmy Fallon get super freaky about Super PACs
• Bill Maher pledges $1 million to Obama's Super PAC

Comedy Central

The Sandra Fluke vs. Rush Limbaugh discussion was just too good a topic to pass up for late-night talk show funny guys Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, but each took slightly different approaches.

Stephen Colbert went on a rant on “The Colbert Report,” completely tearing Limbaugh (or, as Colbert put it, the "poster boy for contraception") apart.

Limbaugh absolutely knows what he’s talking about when it comes to the importance of medicated sex, Colbert said, "because every time he’s slept with a woman, he’s had to slip her a pill first."

Next, Colbert showed clips of the GOP presidential candidates giving less-than-outraged reactions to their fellow conservative’s choice of words. Rick Santorum brushed the whole ordeal off saying an "entertainer" like Limbaugh can “be absurd," while Mitt Romney said merely that Limbaugh's use of "slut" and "prostitute" to describe Fluke “weren’t the words he would have used."

'Course not, said Colbert: Romney's substitute words would also have included "trollop" or "harlot."

At least a dozen advertisershave pulled their products from Limbaugh’s show in the aftermath, including ProFlowers, Sleep Train, Sleep Number, and Quicken Loans. All products, Colbert said, that were necessary for "the slut lifestyle." Mattresses to have sex on, flowers to thank her for it, etc.

Limbaugh did apologize, but as Colbert pointed out, Limbaugh’s on-air apology was for calling Ms. Fluke that “s” and "p" words ... though clearly he stands by all of the other kind things he had to say about her -- like discussing all the sex she clearly was having and wanted to have.

"I don’t understand why this man has gone through four wives," Colbert added.

Colbert wrapped up by explaining that since Limbaugh hosts his nationally syndicated radio show with more than 15 million weekly listeners, it’s clear that he will say anything on air to keep the money coming in, and to keep audiences and advertisers satisfied. When you really think about it, he says, that makes Rush Limbaugh the prostitute. Touché!

Meanwhile, “The Daily Show” host Jon Stewart slammed into Limbaugh in a segment entitled “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Gross" while wearing a bright yellow "prophylactic measure."

"You have to misunderstand so many things," said Stewart, completely debunking Limbaugh’s logic and how he came to the conclusion that Fluke is looking for a government payoff. But "the fun part" is watching the GOP candidates respond, he added.

He added Newt Gingrich to the mix -- Gingrich blamed the "elite media" for supporting Fluke. And Stewart also suggested that Romney would have definitely used other words to describe Fluke -- like "trollop" (a la Colbert) or "Methodist."

The thing is, said Stewart, Fluke and the Obama administration aren't looking to have the government pay for women to have or not have sex. He noted that it's "about an insurance mandate covering contraceptive medication as part of women’s overall healthcare." And if you're a taxpayer whose taxes are going to things you don't like, Stewart said welcome to the club: He'd like to be reimbursed for the Iraq War and oil subsidies and then "diaphragms are on me."

What do you think about what Colbert and Stewart had to say? Share your thoughts on Facebook.

Related content:

• Stephen Colbert offers new slogan for Mitt Romney: 'Enough'
• 'Late Show's' David Letterman endorses Rick Santorum for president
• Brian Williams and Jimmy Fallon get super freaky about Super PACs
• Bill Maher pledges $1 million to Obama's Super PAC

Comedy Central

Having taken his home state of Michigan with a relatively small margin (3.2%) in the primaries, GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney is putting a positive spin on things, joking "we didn't win by a lot, but we won by enough." This inspired "The Colbert Report's" Stephen Colbert Wednesday night to pen a new campaign slogan for the GOP frontrunner: "Romney 2012: Enough."

Still, Colbert admitted he's a bit scared. Rick Santorum's momentum has weakened the GOP, which is now desperate to find a non-Romney leader, he said. If they can’t find a solid candidate before Super Tuesday, they’ll have to suck it up and rally around Romney.

"Get Bobby Jindal a fake ID if he isn’t 35 yet!" Colbert suggested. Others he’d like to see in the race? New Jersey Governor Chris Christie or Florida Senator Marco Rubio. Colbert said he’ll even take “that lady who’s not a witch.” (That is Delaware’s Christine O’Donnell). Facing the harsh reality that Mitt might be it for Republicans, Colbert started the Countdown to Loving Mitt Clock.

“We now have 6 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes to find a replacement for this robotic plutocrat who couldn’t hold the attention of cats with a can of tuna,” Colbert deadpanned.

Meanwhile, Jon Stewart began last night with a new segment: The Long, Winding, Bumpy-A-- Road to The White House. The “Daily Show” host tuned in pretty late and Michigan hadn’t been called yet, so he flipped over to the cable news regulars for their updates on the episodic primary. And what he got there was a mélange of uncertainty, some cool high-tech equipment (a computer screen) being shown to kill time, and Anderson Cooper giving a tour of the fancy glass CNN studio -- all without any solid information. 

He then turned to the most reliable news team around -- the "Daily Show" reporters -- who were all stuffed in a glass box. They had nothing to report either.

And finally, at least someone seems to like Mitt: Arizona Senator John McCain sat down with "Tonight Show" host Jay Leno to remind everyone that he was still a Romney supporter. He added that he really would have liked to see a larger margin between Romney and his closest competitor, Rick Santorum. Then McCain expressed his disgust with the concept of Super PACs, calling them corrupt -- which drew considerable applause from Leno's audience. And in what seemed like the nicest way he could put it, McCain made it clear that he isn’t really a fan of Rick Santorum.

What do you think about the hosts' comments? Share your thoughts on Facebook.

Related content:

• 'Late Show's' David Letterman endorses Rick Santorum for president
• Brian Williams and Jimmy Fallon get super freaky about Super PACs
• Bill Maher pledges $1 million to Obama's Super PAC

CBS

Last night on "Late Show," David Letterman made a big announcement: He's endorsing Rick Santorum for president.

Letterman then explained the method to his madness: "He doesn’t have a chance in hell," the host said, but he added that the candidate sure did inspire. He then went on to introduce another Top 10 List focusing on the candidate he didn't endorse -- Mitt Romney. This time, it was called "Top 10 Other Things Mitt Romney Likes About Michigan’s Trees." (This based on a comment Romney made earlier about being back in his home state: "It's great to be back in Michigan; the trees are the right height.")

Among the winning reasons: "They tend to lean any way the wind blows them -- just like I do."

Meanwhile, over at "The Colbert Report," Stephen Colbert had an announcement of his own. He was celebrating the 1000th episode of the "Report." Take that, Simpsons!

After patting himself on the back for the achievement, Stephen Colbert introduced the new rising stars of the Grand Old Party. Here are the names to watch, according to Colbert: Indiana's Bob Morris, who opposes Girl Scouts (he says they are "a radical feminist organization that promotes abortion and homosexuality"), and New Hampshire’s Kyle Jones -- a 20-year-old congressman who lives at home with mom, who herself is also a state representative (here's their shared website) -- and who is fervently against the idea of mandatory lunch breaks at work.

What do you think about the hosts' comments? Share your thoughts on Facebook.

Related content:

• Brian Williams and Jimmy Fallon get super freaky about Super PACs
• Mangled 'Seinfeld,' surging Santorum on late-night TV
• Bill Maher pledges $1 million to Obama's Super PAC
• Stewart: Republicans predictions over Obama re-election nonsense